User:Emmamwasserman/Reproductive labor/Svg1901 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Emmawasserman


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emmamwasserman/Reproductive_labor?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Reproductive labor

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you might need to explain this sentence a bit more: "Family models in liberal democracies lay at the root of the issue for women facing exclusion from welfare state benefits and the decommodification of reproductive labor." I think you need to explain more about why family models are the root issue. Also for your next sentence "Historically in these societies, women need to marry a man in order to get access to social insurance." It might be useful to talk about why marriage and social insurance are linked. Also you might need to explain more about how the West exploits reproductive labor because there are a lot of terms in the quote that might not make sense unless you are already familiar with them. Your last sentence is more of an argumentative statement than a neutral statement, maybe you could say that it would relieve the burden repoductive labor on women?

Overall though, I think you add a new perspective to the main article. It doesn't seem like they talk about potential solutions on the page, so I think what your adding is needed. Nothing is distracting and it all seems relevant. I put your paragraph in a word processor and it doesn't look like you have any grammar or spelling issues. You have all scholarly sources, so I don't think there's an issue with that. Maybe you could include a source from a country that has UBI to show that it's helpful. Also maybe you could include other sources with a different perspective if there are any. I don't think your information is out of date