User:Emmazeko/Food Justice Movement/Lin.jaide Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Emmazeko


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Emmazeko/Food Justice Movement
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Food Justice Movement

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The lead section edits clearly detail the relationship between food insecurity and other overlapping topics such as proper health and nutrition, but can be reworded to avoid cases of passive voice, slightly run-on sentences, etc. For example, the start of the first statement "Many health issues have been cited to be caused by lack of nutritious food," can be reworded to "Researchers have cited a lack of nutritious food is the cause of many health issues." In addition, the section can be edited to potentially include a sentence establishing how food insecurity leads communities of color to disproportionately experience nutrition and health-related issues (ex. diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, etc.)

Content
The content is directly relevant to the Food Justice Movement and highlights several aspects of food justice and issues of food security, including the intersectionality of food insecurity with issues of racial discrimination and marginalization. Some potential edits to these sections include:

- Condensing potentially repetitive information or statements (specifically in the NTH insertion on Food Movements and Race)

- Contextualization of the start of the Food Justice Movement (What was the significance of La Via Campesina and the right to food production?)

- Potentially including issues of residential segregation (gentrification, etc.) under the section of Food Movements and Race(?)

Tone and Balance
Overall the insertions had a relatively encyclopedic tone and appropriately and holistically addresses the different sections of food justice and activism — certain portions can be slightly rewritten to be more "academic" but overall the message is clearly communicated and the article content is easy to follow.

Sources and References
Contains a diversity of articles and peer-reviewed studies from universities, editorial groups, etc. that are properly cited and linked.

Organization
The additions are well-organized and structured, and the overall article is easy to interpret.

Overall Impressions
Overall, I found these draft recommendations well-developed and organized, properly integrating NTH takeaways and findings. Great job on the draft! :)