User:Englishmademedoit/Atz Kilcher/Weedsandherbsandflowers Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Englishmademedoit


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Englishmademedoit/Atz Kilcher


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Katie! You have done absolutely amazing work, I'm super impressed! Here are just a couple of my comments about the article that might help improve it.

The sentence, "According to his Google search without any independent verification, Atz was born September 2, 1947" obviously needs to be updated with an actual source, I'm assuming you are meaning to do that at some point, so this is just a reminder.

"He is the oldest of 8 siblings, who consist of his brother," I would switch who consists to which consists.

You go from talking about the book Atz published about his father and his hardships to talking about his time in elementary school. I would switch things to have them be in chronological order and move the entire section I'm about to quote to the very end of the early life section.

"Atz published a book on February 6, 2018, titled Son of a Midnight Land: A Memoir in Stories. He documents his life growing up on his family’s homestead, his role in the Vietnam War, and life as a social worker. He also describes the hardships he faced when he had to deal with his father, Yule Kilcher, and his ever present angry moods. Atz reflects on what he learned from working with his father and how that shaped him into who he is today."

When you talk about Ruth again in the Homesteading section, I had already forgotten who she was. This is just a style preference, so feel free to ignore my advice but since this is an article about Atz you might refer to Ruth as his husband and make the children, Atz and Ruth's children. I know its a little gross to refer to Ruth as just his wife but it might read better since people are less familiar with her. UPDATE I was looking through your article again and it looks like Ruth is Atz's mother and not his wife. So I would definitely try to make this more clear, I was obviously confused.

'''Yule travelled for months at a time to Juneau as a state Senator. [2]''' It looks like you didn't properly cite this.

In the singing and song writing section, you might think about including a line about how his music sounds and then cite a page where readers can hear his music.

Discovery Channel started producing the TV Series Alaska: The Last Frontier. Don't forget to try to link out to other Wikipedia pages when you can.

Overall you did really great work and the article is super well written! I like the one picture you have, but even just one more would add a lot. A picture either on the Atz or Yule page of the homestead would be really cool, although I don't know how hard it is for you to get pictures. But you've done an amazing job! Good work!