User:Englishmademedoit/Yule F. Kilcher/Weedsandherbsandflowers Peer Review

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 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Englishmademedoit


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 * User:Englishmademedoit/Yule F. Kilcher


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Katie - Amazing work on the article it looks really good so far. Most of my comments are small grammatical issues that can be improved. In general, I think your article will be greatly improved by adding pictures and by linking to other articles within Wikipedia. If there is a page on homesteading I would link to that, and I would also link to the articles about the television show and Jewel Kilcher. If you can't find any free sources for pictures, I thrifted a vinyl album by Atz and Nedra Kilcher last week and it has a super cool cover. If I took a picture of the cover, you might be able to use that in your article if you wanted. (The album cover is artwork so I'm not sure how the licensing works on that, I just thought I'd offer.)

Below are sentences and ideas I think could use improvement and my suggestions.

"He received land to homestead outside of Homer, Alaska, where he raised his family." Because this is the opening paragraph, saying that Yule received land sounds a little strange here. I would say something like, he homesteaded outside of homer, alaska, where he raised his family.

"The Kilcher homestead grew to 600 acres of land." How big did it start out initially?

"Yule travelled to Juneau to attend the state legislature." Do you have any info on how Yule got into politics? It seems strange to go from homesteading to politics.

"He held the state Senate seat from 1963 until 1967. His political career didn’t start there, he first helped write Alaska’s state constitution in 1955." I would write things in chronologically order, it reads a little strangely to jump back in time.

You don't mention the television show in this article but you do mention the documentary Yule made. Are the two related in any way? Is it important to the article to mention the tv show?

Is there any more info you can add to Yule's death, like what caused it and if his wife was still alive?

Overall, the article looks really great so far and I am super impressed by all your work!