User:Eowoyele/Healthcare in Ghana/AbiL7 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Eowoyele


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eowoyele/Healthcare_in_Ghana?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Healthcare in Ghana

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Eowoyele,

These were very history rich edits and I appreciate the additional context you added in the article. The additions to the Lead section were also very well done and provided a clear, concise outline of the article's main points rather than how the original article only described the precolonial period, which gave me biased imperialist vibes.

Something else the lead can benefit from is having more definitions and citations for them; for example, a quick definition and outline for what the NHIS is in Ghana and what they do. A source can be their site: http://www.nhis.gov.gh/about.aspx.

The image used in the original article's lead illustrating a graph comparing the UK to Ghana also paints a biased picture by only comparing it to a western country without real context. I think it would be helpful to use a different, more neutral image or data illustrating the context of Ghana's healthcare system more insightfully.

The article might also benefit from having recent data and discussion about the how the healthcare system is faring during COVID-19, which might reveal some interesting systematic success and/or lacking policies.

Otherwise, great edits!

Other notes:

Just small grammar stuff:

In the Lead section: "The post-colonial period marks the beginning of government intervention on behalf of healthcare through a variety of policies on different government regimes."

In the History Addition:

"''Declining world prices of its cash crops put more strain on the Ghanaian economy." <-- Also good place to put a citation for this great supporting fact.''

In National Health Insurance Additions:

"The other potential problems with this policy include the fact that the actual act of collecting premiums from the informal employment sector can be costly and there has been allegations of fraud on the part of the official collectors ."

^ This sentence can be phrased a bit more neutrally: "In addition, the actual act of collecting premiums from the informal employment sector can be costly and there has been allegations of fraud on the part of the official collectors.", the first part of the sentence can be interpreted to have a judgement call because of the phrasing using 'other potential problems'.

"These payments are also regressive which leads to poorer people benefiting less from the system because the benefits are unevenly spread ."

^ This might also be more essay-like, maybe rephrase it to be more of a statement: "Due to the unevenly spread benefits, the poor benefit less from the system."