User:Epaulina/Jumeirah Mosque/Amelie Pak Peer Review

Questions from Canvas assignment outline:


 * 1) First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?
 * 2) This articles carries an objective tone throughout and is generally straightforward in describing and identifying the mosque. The history is also written in a clear way that quickly summarizes the background. Structurally, the article is well organized separating the interior and exterior design as well as the mosques rituals.
 * 3) What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * 4) While most of the article has a neutral/formal tone, contractions and pronouns make the article seem less professional. Instances of the reader being addressed include the introduction: "whether you're a Muslim or not" (also note contraction for formality) and interior section: "as there is certain things you see." Editing these would improve the article as it makes it sound more credible and direct attention to the content instead of the reader's own standing. Further, removing or editing sentences like "As per the guidelines of the mosque, there is certain things that are allowed and some that are not" would help clarify the article, as it is redundant and vague when the guidelines will be explained later on.
 * 5) What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
 * 6) More pictures would help improve this article. There are many descriptions of the mosque's features but without pictures, it's difficult to imagine and internalize its beauty.
 * 7) Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!
 * 8) I'm writing about pottery that isn't contemporary so there's almost no overlap, but from the idea of "Open Doors. Open Minds," which is similar to assimilation strategies from past empires, I wonder if there is a connection regarding this inclusivity.

General info
Last major editors include Voyager2harmonica  and Epaulina
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * *revisions not in draft but on the article directly
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jumeirah Mosque

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)