User:Epear/Consumer activism/Huckstuhr Peer Review

General info
Epear; consumer activism
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Epear/Consumer activism - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Consumer activism - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes:
Sources: There are five sources including A Consumers' Republic for a reading that connects directly to the class. The sources fit the topic well. They are a little out of date but that is fine when talking about historical context. If you plan on going in talking about current consumer activism, I would get more recent sources. Something that needs to be changed is having each intext citation have its one number. Currently you have multiple in text citations with the same number.

Lead : I do not see any edits to the lead. If you are adding information to this article it is important to add a short description to the lead. For example, because you are adding information on the "don't buy where you can't work" protests adding a sentence to the lead helps organize the article. The lead of the Wikipedia article is well-written and describes what consumer activism is in a clear and concise way. But there is no description of the major topics of the article. This is something I feel you could add to the article.

Content: The content that you have added is relevant to the article. It adds to both the historical context and tactics section of the article. I do think adding some more up to date information would be valuable. One idea could be talking about how women and black people use consumer activism today. What is the continuity of groups such as the NAACP? Are these same tactics used today? It is good that you are adding information about underrepresented groups because the Wiki article is completely lacking it. The historical context also skips completely over the 30s-60s I feel it may be valuable to add even more information on this time period. Another question to think of is, what did the United States government and private owned businesses do to limit consumer activism? I did not see much about push back against consumer action in the article.

Tone: The tone is good. It does not pick a side. It is informative but I do see one place in specific I feel information should be added to come to a conclusion. You state "the campaign was successful in ushering in a new age of advocacy that would bring about increased black employment rates, opportunities for advancement, promotion, and purchasing power. The movement also provided a basic template for direct-action Civil Rights activists to use in the 1960’s, such as the Montgomery Bus Boycotts or lunch counter sit-ins". Here I feel the conclusion is drawn without information to back it up. Adding in some context between the 30s and 60s and adding a source or two would give this statement more background rather than just jumping to a conclusion. It is important to connect all statements and not just draw conclusions without information the reader can look back to. But the tone is perfect. Just a few gaps from information to conclusion.

Organization: Is this whole section going into the history section? I think it would be valuable to add a section into the movements sub heading and some into the historical section. I like the idea of adding more into the tactics section as well. I think dividing the information you have into those three categories would help strengthen the article the most. The paragraph you have already written fits well into the historical context. Going into depth in a specific movement in the movement section would be great to add. Like maybe the meat packaging. I would say you could separate the Don't buy where you can't work movement from the historical context section and make it part of the movement section.

Images: I only see one image in the current wiki article. I think adding some pictures of the boycotts you talk about will really add to the information on the page. There are a few images in Consumers' Republic I feel would fit your topic well. Just make sure they are images off of wikis free domain so you know they can be used in the article. Adding a sentence or two connecting the image to the boycott would help build readers understanding of the consumer movements.

Overall Impression: The additions to the article are very strong in class connection and using in class material. I think the historical context added could be a little more in depth but what you have at the moment is well written and talks about unrepresented groups in the article. Great work so far.