User:Epickerill/Ivy League/Jalencjones Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Epickerill


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Epickerill/Ivy_League?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ivy League

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? - It looks as a new lead has not been added to the article yet but probably will once the article is completely finished. I would make sure to include an updated aspect in the lead of the changes added into the article.

Content

Is the content added relevant to the topic? - The topic of racial segregation in the past is relevant to the topic of the history of the Ivy-League. I see multiple sections that explain racial segregation in different centuries. I would also focus on explaining in more depth of racist policies that some Ivy League schools had in place that causes segregation in the school system.

Is the content added up-to-date? - Yes, the information comes from sources that were present in that specific time period and also most of the sources are from articles and pages that were published in the 21st century.

Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? - I would possibly remove some of the information from the 20th and 21st century sections and make a new section on how the Ivy Leagues are working to removing racial segregation in their schools.

Sources and References

Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? - Not all information is backed up by information. Example below:

- "Many of the Ivy Leagues had admitted few students of color, with Black students being admitted as early as 1808 and as late as 1949. Most Ivy Leagues - such as Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth, and University of Pennsylvania, had accepted their Black students in the latter decades of the 19th century." (I would add a citation here since dates are inserted and a claim is being made)

Organization

Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? - Yes, it is easy to read but there are some sentences that could be changed to sound more fluent.

Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? - Below are some suggesting I have for editing:

- "Accepting Black students become more common after World War I and World War for Princeton and Columbia. " - Change become to became. I am also confused on the information present in the second half of the sentence. Are there missing words?

-"In fact, more Black students were attending in the elite graduate and professional schools compared to the undergraduate programs. By the middle of the 20th century, only 54 Black Men and Woman..." (remove "in" and Women not woman)

-Capitalize Black is many sentences

Overall Impressions

I would say overall that the information provided has improved the quality of the article since It provided important information on an aspect of Ivy League schools that was unrepresented on the page. A strength of the content added was the use of different types of sources from different time periods to backup the information provided in the added section. One way to improve the content added is to just reread what was written to see what grammatical and structural errr need to be changed so that the work added could be more correct.

~ Jalen Jones