User:Erica andersen/sandbox

Proposed Changes

“After 34 years at NASA, Jackson had earned the most senior engineering title available. She realized she could not earn further promotions without becoming a supervisor. She accepted a demotion to become a manager of both the Federal Women’s Program, in the NASA Office of Equal Opportunity Programs, and of the Affirmative Action Program.”

Firstly, I would like to add some commentary to this statement that is included in the Summary section of Mary Jackson’s Wikipedia page, as it is not completely accurate. It points out that Jackson accepted a demotion, which is true. However, it fails to acknowledge that before accepting a demotion, Jackson was denied a promotion. I would like to add to this statement by pointing out that Jackson did seek out a promotion, but due to hierarchical segregation was denied a promotion. I chose to make this change because it makes the summary of Jackson more accurate. This change is important because it recognizes Jackson’s effort to gain a management position.

The second change I would make is related to the first change. In the Career section of Jackson’s Wikipedia page, it states “She decided to take a demotion in order to serve as an administrator in the Equal Opportunity Specialist field.” I would change this by addressing that Jackson was forced to take a demotion and consequently worked to improve the the opportunities for women in NASA. I chose to make this change because it also adds accuracy to the Career section of the page by correcting false information. This change is important not only because it makes the page more accurate but also because it illustrates the barriers women in STEM, and specifically women of color in STEM, experienced throughout history.

By making these two changes, I believe they will help make Jackson’s page more neutral. These changes will improve the level of neutrality in several ways. The first two changes add accuracy to the page and also acknowledge one of Jackson’s barriers in her career. By making the page more accurate it helps it gain more neutrality.

The third change I would make to Jackson’s page is adding a Historical Significance section. There are many reasons why adding this section is important. Firstly, as the first female African American engineer to work at NASA, there is much historical importance to be discussed about her as she broke boundaries in engineering, which is factual. Also, many other Wikipedia pages include substantial discourse about the historical significance of the notable person. It is important to make this change because it will help Jackson earn the recognition she deserves and because it will make her page more equal to other people’s Wikipedia pages. Because this addition to Jackson’s page would make it more equal to other pages of notable people, it would help Wikipedia achieve its goal of neutrality, as it would show that each of its notable people are properly recognized.

A fourth change I would make is to add more references. I chose to make this change because Jackson’s page only has 14 references, while many notable people’s pages have 100 references. This change is important because it will help add more credibility to her page, as it is already apparently lacking based on my first two requested changes. By adding more references to Jackson’s page, it would also help it become more equal to other pages of notable people, which would help Wikipedia achieve its goal of neutrality.

Cover Letter To whom it may concern,

Overall, I made these changes with the intention of helping this Wikipedia page gain more credibility and neutrality. I am happy about the areas I noted that need to be altered because I believe this will help the page become more credible. I am also happy about wanting to add a Historical Significance section. I would like to work more on developing the Historical Significance section and figure out a way to include this in a neutral way. By adding this section, I believe it would help Mary Jackson’s page become more well rounded and therefore help Wikipedia uphold its mission of neutrality and equality. One of the things that confuses me is how to separate acknowledging the notable person for their accomplishments while maintaining a neutral voice. My edits were driven with an ethical standpoint, while trying to sound neutral, so I hope my changes meet the neutrality requirement and can help better Jackson’s page.

Thank you for taking the time to look over my changes. I would greatly appreciate any feedback you can offer to increase the quality of my proposed edits. I can be reached at my (408) 691-5840 or erica.andersen2016@gmail.com.

Sincerely, Erica Andersen