User:Ericksmd3839/Epidemiology of suicide/Caroline.t1202 Peer Review

Hello! Here's my groups peer review of your article:


 * Organization of the first paragraph starts off well by stating the topic but then gives one small detail about epidemiology of suicide, then moves on. I do like how later on, the intro touches on topics that will be covered in more detail later in the article, but maybe that could be turned into one big paragraph? Or all completely split up, because it feels a little odd how one fact is separated from the rest of the information given in the next section.
 * Regarding the section about season, I wonder if the claim that rates “increase during the winter is a myth” would be considered biased or opinionated. I think the wording makes it appear argumentative and while evidence may support the claim, I think there could be a different way to word the sentence so that it is simply stating evidence.
 * The fact that there is more association between weekdays than season is very interesting. I think some more information about this association could be added, or maybe some other interesting correlations about rates of suicide and time.
 * You may want to check with Dr. Kantor about some of the sources being used. There are lots of single studies being cited. That being said you may be able to get away with it, especially since many of your article does a good job of stating that there isn’t really a great consensus on who is more likely to commit suicide.
 * Suicide Rate Among Elders: Specifically in Japan and other East Asian countries, there has been an increase in suicide rates among the elders. This could be added to the section that talks about social factors, because retired elders feel as though they have no "place", and aren't needed because they do not contribute to the household the same way that they used to. I think it would be interesting to add this maybe as well in trends, as the lifespan has expanded exponentially.
 * For the geographic section, which talks about the countries that have the highest death rate per 100,000 people, I think it would be interesting to then contrast those with the countries that have the smallest suicide rate per 100,000. This would contrast the high number of suicide rates, and highlight how more developed countries have a lower suicide rate because of the access to healthcare being different.
 * The section in overview that mentions how people are being exposed to more suicides could be vastly expanded, because one off the biggest questions with parents is the exposure that video games and in media has had. Another thing I would add in this section would be mentioning how suicide rates increased during the pandemic, which could have been caused by the social isolation that you mentioned in the section above the media.

Thank you and great job!

Caroline Thompson, Ava Bedessem, John Holmberg

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