User:Erikaerika222/Nicholas Hlobo/Maggieterral Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Erikaerika22


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Erikaerika222/Nicholas_Hlobo?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Nicholas Hlobo

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Lead has not been updated to reflect changes made, however the opening sentence is clear and concise as it stands. The lead does address all major sections of the article, however could be present more effectively. The lead contains the only mentions of his artistic practice, and his sexuality being an inspiration for his art. It would be nice to have a section dedicated to that information instead. The lead feels simple enough, just needs restructuring.

Content: All content is relevant to the topic, however the information on his ongoing career is a few years out of date. Article is lacking some insight into his artistic practices, inspiration, and early life. A image of the artist would be helpful as well.

Tone and Balance: Article is in an unbiased tone as it stands unedited.

Sources and References: No sources added yet, however article has a good amount already. Sources regarding personal quotes of Hlobo would be nice. Sources currently in the article are out of date as well.

Organization: Existing article has little to no structure. Language is easy to read, but choppy. Could be reworded to flow better for the reader. Didn't find any preexisting spelling errors

Overall Impressions: Sandbox editing checklist contains many if not all of the notes I've made, looks like a well organized plan.