User:Erikay677/sandbox

Article evaluation:

- Everything in the article is pretty relevant to the topic, however, it did immediately go into talking about the mental health behind people who are school shooters, which distracted me in the beginning. I would prefer to have more facts on the shooting itself in the beginning.

- The article is pretty neutral, because there isn't a strong opinion and it is backed up with a lot of statistics and they are also sourced.

- This article is actually well balanced; it goes into the psychology of school shooters, and then goes into where there have been school shootings, and then into more details, along with preventative measures that can be taken.

- The citations work, as do the links.

- This information is mostly supported by defining the different words in the article. However, there are some areas that are not backed up by sources.

- The information is not quite updated, as it stops at 2015 and does not talk about the recent ones, such as from 2016-2018.

-Some users took out information that wasn't necessarily backed with a reliable source, according to the Talk page.

Talk:School shooting/Archive 1

- Possible Articles to Work On


 * Animal Rights Movement
 * Topic: Animal Rights

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_rights#/editor/0


 * This article/topic doesn’t necessarily cover individual animal rights, such as which animals have rights, or what necessarily defines an animal that qualifies for animal rights
 * Needs more research


 * Drug Policy Movement
 * Topic: Cannabis Social Club

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_Social_Club


 * I believe that it would be helpful, for the Cannabis Social Club, to have identified more locations and given more of the history behind those specific clubs and how the contributed to the overall movement
 * More in depth interviews about the topic and the history and motivation behind the movement and clubs


 * Feminist Movement
 * Topic: Feminist Movement

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_movement


 * I think it covers a broad scheme, but also isn’t inclusive of certain areas that I feel like also should have recognition
 * There is also another article, feminism, that is very similar

Finalize your topics/Find your sources:

- Write a few sentences about what you plan to contribute to the selected article in your sandbox

- Post some of your ideas to the article's talk page

- Compile a list of relevant, reliable books, journal articles, or other sources. Post that bibliography to the talk page of the article you'll be working on

March for Our Lives:

Contributions:

- plan on creating a section that addresses how March for Our Lives has been influenced by social media presences

- will include social medias such as Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Facebook

Twitter:

- large following 450k

- started February 2018

- student-led organization with large social media presence

- real time up to date tweets about the movement

- retweets other comments with similar hashtags, to influence and involve others

I think this article should consider adding a section about the social media presence of March For Our Lives in terms of Twitter. Twitter has a large following of nearly 450k people and has been a crucial point in this movement, as it is a student-led organization and students tend to have and follow a large social media presence. In addition, it also had up to date tweets about the movement and has helped immensely with propelling the movement forward and getting the word out. Below I have attached the link to the account.

https://twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

https://twitter.com/mfolmanhattan/status/1100129636774752256

https://twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives/status/1098619466307588096

First Draft of Article:

My Contributions:

- We are adding on additional information about the social media movement in the #MarchForOurLives, including specifics about the social medias, including Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook

Originally, protest happened for multiple shootings across the nation, such as for the Charleston Shooting, but never reached past hundreds. With social media, more information was relayed to a larger audience in quicker time, giving more people awareness of what was happening across the nation. (1) By National Walkout Day on April 20, 2018, the social medias had followings over 1.3 million people and in Washington D.C. alone, 200,000 people attended the March For Our Lives protest, whom many younger adults attributed to the big social media presence. (2) The hashtag #MarchForOurLives was used 3.6 million times, and over 7.5 thousand tweets were directed at the NRA social media account.

The March For Our Lives Twitter started in February of 2018, with the Twitter handle, @AMarch4OurLives. Up to date, the Twitter account has 450,000 followers and are a student-run organization with a large social media presence. (3) The March For Our Lives Twitter has real time, up to date tweets about the movement. It includes tweets about the red flag bill being signed in from other March For Our Lives accounts based in different locations, such as NYC. (4) In addition, the March For Our Lives Twitter account also alerts their followers about the events that are happening, such as meetings at Town Halls or when certain protests are happening. (5) All of their posts follow certain guidelines and relevance, and they also continue to retweet their own tweets too.

Citations:

(1) https://www.crimsonhexagon.com/blog/march-for-our-lives-was-born-on-social-media/

(2) https://www.cbsnews.com/news/march-for-our-lives-crowd-size-estimated-200000-people-attended-d-c-march/

(3) https://twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

(4) https://twitter.com/mfolmanhattan/status/1100129636774752256

(5) https://twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives/status/1098619466307588096

FIRST DRAFT OF ARTICLE: (SECTIONED OFF BY WHO DID WHICH PARAGRAPHS)

Erika Yang:

Originally, protest happened for multiple shootings across the nation, such as for the Charleston Shooting, but never reached past hundreds. With social media, more information was relayed to a larger audience in quicker time, giving more people awareness of what was happening across the nation. (1) By National Walkout Day on April 20, 2018, the social medias had followings over 1.3 million people and in Washington D.C. alone, 200,000 people attended the March For Our Lives protest, whom many younger adults attributed to the big social media presence. (2) The hashtag #MarchForOurLives was used 3.6 million times, and over 7.5 thousand tweets were directed at the NRA social media account.

Twitter:

The March For Our Lives Twitter started in February of 2018, with the Twitter handle, @AMarch4OurLives. Up to date, the Twitter account has 450,000 followers and are a student-run organization with a large social media presence. (3) The March For Our Lives Twitter has real time, up to date tweets about the movement. It includes tweets about the red flag bill being signed in from other March For Our Lives accounts based in different locations, such as NYC. (4) In addition, the March For Our Lives Twitter account also alerts their followers about the events that are happening, such as meetings at Town Halls or when certain protests are happening. (5) All of their posts follow certain guidelines and relevance, and they also continue to retweet their own tweets too.

Citations:

(1) Crimson Hexagon. “March for Our Lives Was Born on Social Media.” Crimson Hexagon, www.crimsonhexagon.com/blog/march-for-our-lives-was-born-on-social-media/.

(2) CBS News. “How Many People Attended March for Our Lives? Crowd in D.C. Estimated at 200,000.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 25 Mar. 2018, www.cbsnews.com/news/march-for-our-lives-crowd-size-estimated-200000-people-attended-d-c-march/.

(3) Account, March For Our LivesVerified. “March For Our Lives (@AMarch4OurLives).” Twitter, Twitter, 27 Feb. 2019, twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor.

(4) Manhattan, March For Our Lives. “Red Flag Bill Signed Today in NYC ! Step in the Right Direction in Preventing Gun Violence and Saving Lives ✌🏽 Pic.twitter.com/u5AgirRnlR.” Twitter, Twitter, 25 Feb. 2019, twitter.com/mfolmanhattan/status/1100129636774752256.

(5) Lives, March For Our. “CHARLESTON, SC: Join Us on Saturday at 3 PM for a Gun Safety Town Hall with @GiffordsCourage, @Townhallproject, and @LeviStraussCo.Let's Talk Background Checks. #HR8 RSVP Here: Https://T.co/gL6NFZd474.” Twitter, Twitter, 21 Feb. 2019, twitter.com/AMarch4OurLives/status/1098619466307588096.

Yihui:

Instagram

Celebrities and politicians have traditionally dominated policy discussion on social media. Selena Gomez, in March 2018 shared the march's hashtag #MarchForOurLives with the message: "Protect kids, not guns! and this post had received 2 millions likes.[1] Lady Gaga also documented the march releasing a series of Instagram videos calling for action from politicians to enforce stricter gun laws.[2] The march has drawn support from Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grande, and their pledging to join and perform at the march.[3]

But following the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, the students who survived and millions of students worldwide participated in March for Our Lives, emerging as more and more influential on Instagram and Twitter than celebrities on the gun control.[4] One of the tools they used was the hashtags. Top hashtag such as #MarchForOurLives #NeverAgain, #GunControlNow, and #EnoughIsEnough are used to spread out the word and call on public’s attention. [5] Besides, students collaborate with BBH L.A to create first Instagram coloring book. BBH L.A. executive creative director Zach Hilder said “We wanted to give them tools to elevate their voices, create a way to unify their message and allow everyone to participate in the march. That’s the inspiration for Color For Our Lives.”

Dr. Anatoliy Gruzd, James Lannigan, and Dr. Kevin Quigley in their study analyzed the cross-platform communication performed in civic organization, "‘informal’ narrative platform that promoted a clicktivist type of responses from the audience, whereas Twitter was a more ‘formal’ news platform that supported greater two-way communication between the organization and the audience". [6] #MarchforOurLives hashtag ignited much-needed America’s gun conversation, where people protesting against the epidemic of gun violence and the country needs to change.[7]


 * 1) "Selena Gomez Supports March for Our Lives on Instagram: 'Protect Kids, Not Guns!'". Billboard. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 2) ^ "This Is What Social Media Had to Say About the March for Our Lives". Vogue. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 3) ^ Amatulli, Jenna (2018-03-24). "Celebrities Take To The Streets, Social Media For March For Our Lives". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 4) ^ Bourbon, Julie; Stockman, Dan; Roewe, Brian; Benevento, Maria (2018-04-06). "March for Our Lives: Student-led demonstrations nationwide call for action on gun violence". National Catholic Reporter. 54 (13): 5–6.
 * 5) ^ Hexagon, Crimson. "March for Our Lives was Born on Social Media". www.crimsonhexagon.com. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 6) ^ "ScienceDirect". www.sciencedirect.com. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 7) ^ "This Is What Social Media Had to Say About the March for Our Lives". Vogue. Retrieved 2019-03-05.
 * 8) ^ Millstein, Seth. "These Are The March For Our Lives Hashtags To Use On The Day Of The Protest". Bustle. Retrieved 2019-03-05.

Sean:

Facebook

The March For Our Lives movement employs Facebook as another social media platform to spread awareness of its campaigns and messages to people around the world. As of March 5th 2019, the MFOL Facebook page has garnered more than 300,000 followers.[1] The page is mainly used to provide updates on national policies regarding gun laws, as well as coverage of various politicians who advocate for more gun safety. Similar to other media platforms, the Facebook page frequently employs popular hashtags such as #MarchForOurLives and #NeverAgain in its posts. Although other social media platforms such as Twitter and Instagram often make posts to increase awareness, Facebook is more often used to organize people in nearby marches or demonstrations.[2]

https://www.facebook.com/marchforourlives/

https://www.thecut.com/2018/03/march-for-our-lives-for-gun-control-will-be-on-march-24.html

Jeremy:

Snapchat

The March For Our Lives movement leveraged Snapchat to gain momentum, spread the word and draw attention to what students and supporters were doing around the United States in response to recent shootings on school campuses. Unique from other social media platforms, Snapchat contains a map feature that allowed the world to see when and where activities by its users is taking place. This allowed the student walkouts to be easily tracked around the US.[1] Video shows thousands of students and supporters walking the streets, protesting gun violence and current gun laws. [2] Snapchat created a "March For Our Lives" Sticker that could be used by the platform's users to document the walkouts around the US. [3]


 * 1) Bhardwaj, Prachi. (14 Mar. 2018), "Snapchat's Maps feature visualized the national student walkouts against gun violence in a stunning way". Business Insider. Retrieved 2019-03-05
 * 2) "SnapChat video at March for our Lives". KSDK. Retrieved 2019-03-04.
 * 3) Author: Sweet Tea and Small Talk: Published on Mar 27, 2018 " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3pJmqGPi5w "
 * 4) "Snapchat shows March For Our Lives through eyes of students". KSDK. Retrieved 2019-03-04.
 * 5) Wargo, Jon M. (2015/00/00). "Spatial Stories with Nomadic Narrators: Affect, Snapchat, and Feeling Embodiment in Youth Mobile Composing". Journal of Language and Literacy Education. 11 (1): 47–64. ISSN 1559-9035.
 * 6) Paolini, Allison. "School Shootings and Student Mental Health: Role of the School Counselor in Mitigating Violence" (PDF). American Counseling Association.

Peer Review 3 Articles:

Inequality in Hollywood:

Section: Gender Inequality

For the gender equality section, I propose the section for Lawrence be edited in terms of grammar to become:

"According to Amy Lawrence in her book ‘Echos and Narcissus: Women's Voices in Classical Hollywood Cinema’, a lot was changing in the social rim of things towards the end of the nineteenth century: for example, the growth and use of telephones as a means of communication. The introduction of phonographs contributed to the making of music. However, while all these aspects were evolving, the one thing that remained stagnant was the place society had put women such as Amy Lawrence. Her right to speak even in public spaces was forbidden. She couldn’t just speak freely & whenever she so pleased, unlike men. This had a ripple effect in all social and economical spaces the woman would occupy."

I would also suggest for this section to dive deeper into the social and economical effects this had in Hollywood on woman and provide specific examples to give more factual evidence to support the sentence, rather than just forming an opinion.

Hashtag Activism:

Section: #Sosblakaustralia

I would propose the following edits and grammar edits to the following section:

"In March of 2015, an activism campaign took hold in Australia. #Sosblakaustralia was a campaign started in a small, aboriginal town in Western Australia. This campaign was to combat an initiative that would close down 150 rural aboriginal communities. Though this movement started in a rural community of 200 #Sosblakaustralia with poor Internet connection, it eventually spread to thousands of followers including Australian celebrities such as Hugh Jackman, and this caused the movement to expand as far as London. In 18 days, this movement had over 50,000 followers and had reached over 1,000,000 people worldwide."

I also propose that this section should have more additional information about the effect that it caused after the 18 days. In addition, I think there should be more examples like these in the following articles to help support this viewpoint.

Fake News:

Section: Usage of the term by Donald Trump

I propose the following edits in terms of grammar and information:

"President Trump has claimed that the mainstream American media regularly reports fake news. His usage of the term has increased the distrust of the American media globally, particularly in Russia. His claims have given credibility to stories in the Russian media that label American news, especially news about atrocities committed by the Syrian regime against its own people, where it was quoted that "munitions at the air base had as much to do with chemical weapons as the test tube in the hands of Colin Powell had to do with weapons of mass destruction in Iraq", as just more fake American news.

Trump has carried on a war against the mainstream media, often attacking it as "fake news" and "the "enemy of the people."

In addition, I think it would benefit this section to have another example of a fake news that was propelled by President Trump.

 OUR RESPONSES TO PEER REVIEWS: 

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your review Angela! We plan on implementing a location section in terms of the social media sections that we added in
 * We will also address how the march came to take place along with how the social movement influenced that
 * Thank you for the source and we will definitely be using that!
 * We will focus on how Twitter helped spread it to different locations and how Instagram helped create visuals while tagging the locations, and also how Snapchat featured certain places that were March for Our Lives

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your review Arieleliu! We plan on implementing all the little details you mentioned, with the dates for celebrities and also taking out the more irrelevant content and instead substituting it with more objective and relevant content
 * We also need to take out more of the persuasive language in the movement
 * We will also check for grammatical errors
 * However, I do think certain things should be kept, such as the retweets, as it gives quantitative data; however, I also think you are right in that we should say “Up to Date”

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your review Tory! We plan on fixing the sections that doesn’t have the people with opposing opinions
 * We will also strive to fix the grammatical errors in this article
 * We will also try to be more organized with the structure

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews to Dallas:


 * Thanks for your review Dallas! We plan on creating a more chronological order for the article
 * In addition, we believe that we will include more specifics about the different social medias and just include responses in each of them
 * We will also fix the grammatical errors we have made in this section and eliminate certain clauses

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your review Isabel! We plan on incorporating more edits so that the edit will tie better together
 * I think that the general impact of the social movement was not specified because we were more focused on the specific platforms that were being used
 * We will also take out the more subjective comments in this article

Erika’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your review Emily! We plan on incorporating more details and a wider array of celebrities
 * We will also strive to fix the grammatical errors in this article
 * We will also take out the more subjective comments in this article
 * We will try to fix the subjective tone of certain sections in the Wikipedia article

Sean’s Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your peer review Nicole! We will make the changes with the word choice and grammar as you mentioned. I think the 3.6mm use of the hashtag refers to just Instagram but we will verify and specify it in the article. We will use the full name of the NRA if it was not identified earlier the article, but I believe it was.
 * There is no particular order for the social media platforms, but we would be open to changing it around based on effectiveness or follower count.
 * Yes, we can find more examples of the tweets from the Twitter account based on the different cities that they were based in.
 * Yes we were saying it was mostly the celebrities that drove Instagram popularity or the movement, but we can make that more clear. I think it is a good idea to reference them to their wikipedia pages. Thanks for the feedback on the grammar, we will look into it.
 * We can specify an example of what we meant by that

Sean's Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Thanks for your feedback Sid, we agree with much of what you wrote, and will work on them going forward, especially on expanding the content for those sections you mentioned.

Yihui's Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Samir, Thank you so much for the content feedback and thank you raising your concerns about topic selection, tone, and grammar. We agree that we should polish our introduction to make it more straightforward. Though our orginial idea was to add a new section of Social Media Effect within in the MarchForOurLives article, we realize it’s important to reconstruct our following sections to be more diverse.

Yihui's Response to Peer Reviews:


 * Charlie, Thank you so much for fixing our grammatical errors and thank you raising your concerns about the article’s tone. We would be much more careful to avoid this kind of error again and we agree that we should keep our article more neutral by leaving out all the possible opinions!