User:Esther Zhao210/Niki Caro/Paulaacocal Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Esther Zhao210


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Esther%20Zhao210/Niki_Caro?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Niki Caro
 * Niki Caro

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Esther,

You succeeded in having a neutral presentation of Caro's projects in the "Early Career" section. It was great to learn more about her earlier work before her well-known projects.

I saw the contributions you made to the "Lead" section and thought the first sentence, "Caro's works ranged from music videos, commercials, television dramas, and films, etc." was a succinct recap of what film/video categories she's covered. I am concerned that the last sentence in the lead section might sound a bit argumentative as it reads like a thesis or topic sentence.

There were some parts that had "article" at the end of the sentence, and I was wondering if you had planned to insert a citation down the line.

Overall, the information you shared in the draft seems to be aimed at her career and shedding more light on what Caro did before taking on bigger productions like Whale Rider and Mulan. I particularly think your reliance on sites from BAFTA and TIFF helps with the neutrality of your informative statements.