User:EthanIAm16/Oswald Avery/Mjwalsh02 Peer Review

General info
EthanIAm16, Lil' Runner 2.0
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:EthanIAm16/Oswald_Avery?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oswald_Avery

Evaluate the drafted changes
There is a lot of good and relevant information that is being added. Good structure and outline, adding the "Retirement and Later Years" section was a great idea. The lead in the article is good and succinct so I think it is wise to not edit it too much. The biggest suggestion I could make is trying to find more sources, as the references are all the same except one. Additionally, I'd look at the formatting of your in text citations because the same reference is listed 24 times. In the "Early Life and Education" section I would be more careful about what information is relevant to the article. Mjwalsh02 (talk) 14:20, 22 March 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review Response
In terms of the sources, we have now obtained a new book to source information from, and we will continue to move towards finding more recent sources. We confirmed with Dr. Shepperd that the text citations are fine as is, though they may be a symptom of using the same book for most of the article. We have reformatted the "Early Life and Education" section to be two separate sections and have stuck to the relevant information on each.

We are working on adding more sources. We had to wait for a book to get shipped from Germany. We have the book now, and we will be adding information from that book shortly. We also have a research article from which we will be obtaining information. We will be looking for more sources on the internet after that.

There are twenty-four references from the same source because we cited the pages for which we found each piece of information. This is the best way to cite sources, so that the reader can go to the exact page in which the information was found instead of having to look through an entire chapter.

In the “Early life and Education” section, the information about Avery’s family will be moved to a family subsection to help the reader understand the relevance of that information.