User:Etuhu

Joshú Joshúnson

Joshú Joshúnson is one of the best curling players the world has ever seen. Joshú is Icelandic and has been renowned for his special move, the Chinchilla, which involves using a teammate as a curling brush.

Jóshú has in recent times been known for sneezing and he won the world's loudest coughs competition in Eritrea. The competition's host was Lomana Tresor Lua Lua, who now plays for Olympiakos with great success. Joshú doesn't like people and his best friend is a penguin. He has converted nearly his whole house to resemble his penguins natural habitat, Antarctica. The penguin's name is Georg Bjarnfreðarsson. Jááá fínt, Já sæll is Joshú's most used quote as when he is asked a question that is the only reply he knows. Þyrí Kap is his mother and there fore he was born in hell. His teacher who has home-schooled him since he was four years old has officially made him the dumbest guy in Iceland. Joshú participated in a dance contest and was therefore judged to be dumb. This teacher also teaches chemistry at The Menntaskólinn í Reykjavík which is a foundation with strong roots of higher education but this teacher does not fit into that category. Joshú loves to play with glasses as it is his main pastime. He plays with all kinds of glasses, ranging from long ones to plastic ones, those are all the kinds of glasses he plays with. I do not know if you have realized this but I am talking about glasses that you drink out of, not glasses tha improve your eyesight. Eyesight has been a problem for Joshu as he is blind, but he's still one of the best curling players ever in Iceland. He has led his curling team, Violationers, to thirty-nine succesive victories in the Icelandic Curling Championship which is renowned in the whole world. He has also never ever led the national team to a single victory and that has been his only shortcoming in his life of note.

The Chinchilla

The Chinchilla is Joshú's only trademark move and it is recognized as one of the cooles curling tricks ever. In a poll done by "Krullan <3 :*" magazine it was voted the nettest trick ever. The Chinchilla is performed by Joshú picking one of his teammates up, more often than not it is Búri Benedikz, and using him as curling brush. This has a much greater effect than the brush because of the roughness of the skin which tears up the ice and lets the puck roll unsmoothly. When it runs unsmoothly there is much more friction and combustion and that's why Joshú has hit so many bullseyes in his career.

Trivia

- He once had a Gazelle name Bræðingur but it was killed in the great Cheetah summer in Reykjavik

- He has three times been on the cover of "Krullan <3 ;*" magazine in Iceland, but the magazine has only been released three times to date

- Joshú was almost killed once in a freak curling accident where his teammate Búri Benedikz awkwardly dropped his curling brush in the    way of Joshú. Joshú only survived because of the heroics of Olga Borisnykhov, the national curling team coach of Iceland

- His mother, Þyrí Kap has been voted the sexiest Danish-speaker in Iceland four times

- Joshú is not only blind, he also can't burp

Records

- He holds the records for the most bullseyes in one game, an incredible number of three bullseyes

- Joshú also holds the record for most games played in curling ever, 40 games

- Has the highest salary in the world of curling, 200 kroners per month