User:Evilglen

Regardless of orthodox chronology, Evilglen Botchenstein was born twenty one years ago. Time may pass, but that will always be the case. If you doubt this, ask him yourself.

It is perhaps best to begin our explanation of Evilglen Botchenstein in a noisy betting office on the backstreets of Essen, Germany. Outside, an increasingly agitated line of punters jostle for position in anticipation of the day’s most heavily pursed horse-race, featuring soon-to-be-retired favorite “Das Mischwasser “at five to one odds. The horse in question will run his last race today, although nobody in attendance is yet aware of that fact. Inside the betting office, a deal is being made. A deal that will see Das Mischwasser drugged and broken in the public eye. A deal that will make one man rich, and ultimately, another famous.

At the same time, a young girl is dis-owned by her aristocratic Austrian father and forced to take work as a stable hand in the suburbs of Stuttgart.

The race goes as planned and two months later, Fraulein Helspeun Von Bochenstein is mucking out stables around the defeated hooves of the now forgotten Das Mischwasser.

As far as how Fraulein Helspeun came to be impregnated by a retired racehorse goes, let’s just say that misery loves company and leave it at that. The point is that she was. And successfully. Nine months later, the world shuddered as Evilglen was born.

Besides the obvious attribute from his sire, Evilglen also inherited a chronic case of parasitic stomach flies known as “Bots”. In a fit of despair, Fraulein Helspeun added the “T” to her son’s name as a reminder that what’s bred in the bone can often be disappointing.

Having both an advanced case of gestating stomach flies and the member of a racehorse, Evilglen was toured throughout Western Europe as a freak. The flies numbers were bolstered through umbilical catheters and sewn in so as not to hatch, and the other, more obvious attribute of his genealogy hyperbolized on posters and pamphlets. This is arguably the phase of Evilglen’s development which led to his affinity for stage life. The pressures of public scrutiny however, soon led to a period of dark and brooding introspect, and young Botchenstein began to view his circumstances as a curse. A curse which had to be broken.

To simply quit the existence of a travelling oddity in favor of humble obscurity was not a viable option to this troubled young mind. A statement had to be made. And on the night of April 30th, 1990, during what promoters had hoped would be The Botchenstein Travelling Freakshow’s triumphant homecoming, all hell broke loose.

Tearing out the stitches that had held the buzzing horde of insectile torment imprisoned within his abdomen for an entire tourist season, Evilglen unleashed what eye witnesses came to call “Die Schwarzwind”. Hungry stomach flies ran amok, ravenous from months of induced infantile alcoholism, while Evilglen employed his other equine attribute to ruthlessly club survivors.

In the face of local and international outcry, Fraulein Helspeun was compelled to spirit her son away to the farthest reaches of the earth.

Evilglen Botchenstein can be found to this day in that very place; Edmonton Alberta.