User:Ewanstewart/sandbox

Sandy Duff
Sandy Duff, born Alexander Stewart McGregor Duff, is a well known BNOC around the University Of Abertay Dundee student community. Sandy Duff was born in a small village called Buchlyvie just outside the town of Stirli/Users/Ewanwas born to Felicity Duff ( mother ) and Euan Duff ( Father ) who also have another son under the name of Douglas "Dougie" Duff - birth date unknown. Recurrently resides in th beautiful city of Dundee with three flatmates: Ben Gray - known retard who is possibly the most unlucky specimen to ever roam this earth; Blair Cochrane - a male who has an unfortunate case of Uglybastarditis which causes his face to appear as if it has been trampled on by a heard of water buffalo; Ewan Cameron - another well known BNOC in not only the Abertay University student community but also the Dundee University student community.Sandy suffers from an extremely rare disease known as Stupidbastarditis- a close diseasal relative to Uglybastarditis - which causes him to have an African Sunset hair colour and large biceps which he uncontrollably flaunts. Due to this illness Sandy Duff also has an unfortunate craving for recreational drugs such as Cocaine and Marijuana. He has been known to spend his entire income on these drugs for personal use. Another side effect of Stupidbastarditis is one that causes Sandy Duff to have a nasty habit of drinking 10 large eggs in a glass every morning - if he is awake that is considering another side effect of his extremely rare disease causes him to sleep uncontrollably to late hours of the evening. due to his absurd sleeping habits Sandy Duff tends to only be awake during the extreme early hours of the morning causing him to miss classes and social outings which is the cause of the rumours that he doesn't actually exist thus furthering his BNOC status./Users/Ewan/Desktop/Too many.JPG Sandy Duff has a large arsenal of catch phrases that he created himself along with a number of ones that he has acquired through everyday life and his favourite television show Blue Mountain State ( BMS ) for example, whenever Sandy says anything mysoginistic or Laddish in any way he will follow the saying with his number one catch phrase of "Bosh Bosh Bosh" with which he pairs his mating call of flexing his biceps in corresponding with each "Bosh". Another one of Sandys' catchphrases is "LSF" which he co-created with the wonderful mind of Ewan Cameron. The phrase relates to the preparation rituals of the pair before a night out on the town. The acronym stands for "Look good, Smell good, Feel good" which has never failed the two when looking for a female to mate with. Sandy Duff is currently on a record of 6 female sexual encounters all due to the LSF system whereas Ewan Cameron is on a record much higher although due to the vast number of sexual encounters the exact number is a mystery to everyone although it is estimated to be in the high twenty's, again thanks to the LSF system. Due to his naturally large biceps, Sandy Duff looked rather disproportionate at a young age which has encouraged him to attend a regular gym session in the attempt to even out his disproportional body type. This along with his short height in appearance has caused Sandy Duff to feel self-concious about his appearance and further gives him reason to attend the gym regularly. His natural strength and short height makes him the perfect specimen for a rugby player, more specifically a Hooker number 2 which sandy duff has accepted and became a student of the notorious rugby school of Merchiston Castle High School situated just outside of Edinburgh City in Scotland and trained vigorously in the art of rugby which has caused him to resent the sport despite being fairly exceptional in the position of hooker. Sandy Duff retired from the sport after his sixth year of higher education in the year of 2013 where the rugby community was shocked and distraught at his announced retirement. Thought the efforts of the very well loved and respected Ewan Cameron, Sandy Duff later returned to playing rugby after only one year of retirement and has joined him in playing for the greatest university team known int he entire world, Abertay University Rugby. Sandy currently plays the position of second string hooker for the team after Karl Lamont even though his skills are much greater than Karl Lamont's in the scrum yet they are inferior in line out shows and the skill of running with out falling over. Sandy, because of his Stupidbastarditis, suffers a side effect disease known as Cantrunforshititis where he is unable to run for any length of time without looking like a complete idiot due to his high knee style of running and unbelievably low top speed. Sandy Duff also is unable to keep his balance whilst running for longer than a time of 3 seconds, after this time expires Sandy Duff tends to lose his balance and falls on his face in the dirt embarrassingly. because of this feat he tends to drive everywhere he can despite his intoxication levels in what he describes as "Batman" due to its sexy appearance and bad ass black finish. Sandy prizes Batman more than anything else in this world apart from his appearance and allows no one else to even sit in the driver seat never mind drive the Batman. Sandy Duff will do all he can to not be a passenger due to an unfortunate mild automobile crash in which he was injured which spectators can only respect due to crashes being a very serious matter. Sandy loves the Batman so much that he looks for any reason to drive him whether it be to pick up recreational drugs or go on a "much trip" to enjoy the sweet taste of mango ice tea whilst he watches his favourite film "The Hobbit : An Unexpected Journey" whilst high of his nut usually accompanied by Ewan Cameron BNOC. For reasons unknown Sandy Duff is a very simple man and finds pleasures in the simple things in life. He doesn't tend to spend his money on materialistic items which can be seen by his persistent holding onto his beloved iPhone 4 which has more cracks in it than Cameron Bryce's skin and because of this, not much more is known about Sandy Duff.