User:Ezacarias01/Foreplay/Uambra Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Ezacarias01


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ezacarias01/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Foreplay

Evaluate the drafted changes
Upon reviewing your sandbox, I enjoyed reading about what you added about roles in regards to the psychological effects for foreplay. In you lead, however, in terms of what was added in there, I thought it seemed kind of a repetition to whatever was added to the actual wiki page itself. Instead of adding in similar content to what the wiki added, you can try adding more about the a historical viewpoint of foreplay. With this in mind, if you look at the picture to the side of the "definition" section, It shows an old-style type picture of two couples engaging in some sort of foreplay act. In comparison to the definition section, you can add more about how foreplay was defined as a historical perspective. So in terms of the lead, I suggest to try adding in more sources about this matter of historic standpoint that can provide a general overview in regards to the idea of foreplay (if you choose to edit the definition section of the wiki page). The lead can even be concise and does not have to require a lot of info regarding foreplay, but really thinking about a historic standpoint may be justified with importance. Your organization of the overall content is good in regards to the theme of each section, and your links to sources seem to function correctly as well which is a good thing. However, one thing that I noticed that may be underrepresented in the role section of this wiki page is the addition of homosexuality in relation to foreplay and its psychological effects. As a reader, I would be curious to learn the differences that occur in the minds of homosexual individuals in comparison to heterosexuals. In this case, you can try adding this information with more article resources in the "role" section as well. In terms of overall content added in this section, I thought you did a decent with adding in the information regarding the psychological effects in regard to foreplay. Overall, however, the addition of information can just come with more research and the content of the role section can be improved by adding a sub-section within that that depicts the psychological effects of other sexual orientations as I mentioned before. Great work overall! ~Umberto Ambra