User:Ezasham/sandbox

Luke Engelen

Luke Englen is a 17 year old male who has starred in the musical comedic television show 'Musical Storytellers Ginger and Black', as John Candy. Luke expresses a devout interest in featuring in upcoming amateur porn film 'rolling a j with the ginger swine XXX', although director Faithfull denies claims that Engelen is destined to play in the role of Tom Tompkins; the man who seeks ginger poon in the city of London whilst on a pub crawl.

'''Sporting Career '''

Luke recently sprained his ankle playing squash with the bois in Torquay, although Luke has been quoted to have said: 'this is only the beginning of my squash career... Don't fuck with me and my potential.'

Interestingly enough Luke has both been a former footballer to semi-pro level, scoring 62 in 12 games for Rogate FC before signing for Chelsea academy for a fee of 1,000 a week, and also a former semi-pro tennis player having been spotted by Federer whilst playing in the Alps in the summer of 2011 at the age of just 13. Sadly for Luke he suffered from post traumatic stress disorder after his mate's goldfish got murdered by Pete Ashdown. Ever since, Luke has expressed his commitment to the International Foundation of Fish and has donated over £30 to the cause.

Having settled down and recovered from the disorder in 2014, Luke began practicing squash and water polo to a very high level, training with the likes of Jake Balthazor and Jake Pillans (former professionals themselves.)

So where will the world take Luke next? It is rumoured that he may be the target of current Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal, however Luke expresses an interest in re-signing for his boyhood club under manager Mourinho who he got on well with in his initial years at the academy. Mourinho had recently said in a conference that Luke was an 'exemplary player who [is] destined for greatness', before adding that he hoped the fame wouldnt get to his head so that he could offer Luke a newly improved 40,000 a week contract before the season of 2015/16.