User:Familyfare/Wari Empire/MtD17 Peer Review

General info
Familyfare
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Familyfare/Wari Empire--shared google doc with Familyfare's edits :
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Wari Empire:

Evaluate the drafted changes
I was impressed at how much information you individually generated so far! Towards the end, you discuss the skeletal analysis of remains from Huari which I think is really interesting!

Initially, I think the organization of your article is clear and concise, nice job! When quickly looking over the article, it does appear to be lacking sources in a few sections so I definitely think that locating reliable sources and adding those in (which exploration of good sources can then possibly lead to an additional aspect of Wari culture that you want to analyze and/or add additional context to each section that is already in place)

I also though the image to the right of the article is helpful in establishing the geographical location of where the Wari Empire resided as well as the expansion and area of the cultural influence -both Wari and Tiwanaku

The Lead looks good -it efficiently and effectively introduces the sections of the article of your group's article-the very end of the lead sets up the reader and leaves them wanting to learn more about the Wari Empire with reliable sources backing up the information provided. This section summarizes all the major points in the article and involve the context that lay behind the lead section.

For the section-Debate on "empire" label-are there going to be sources added? In process of doing so? In this section, when discussing the construction of the network of roadways, I think it would be beneficial to delve into specific architecture within this region and then explain the extent in which current projects are underway (?) to provide clarification and further explanation in transition to talking about the royal tomb, El Castillo Huarmey.

In terms of the section titled Political Relations-it looks like a few sentences have been edited in the first paragraph of this section which is relatively clear, though I think potentially discussing more about the policy providing control for certain Wari leaders would unveil why this policy was significant in both political and cultural contexts which would then help to smoothly transition into the next paragraph that describes the relationship between the Wari and Tiwanaku.

In one of your specific sections you are working, Administration, you do a good job of balancing tone-you consistently have a neutral voice that is helpful in presenting the information and further diving into the specifics of beer consumption in relation to social hierarchy.

At the end of your edited sections-maybe talking more about ongoing research revolving around molecular indicators of stress-provide specific examples of research done and add sources.