User:FaridaElsefary/Islamic Heritage of Hyderabad/Nehal al-Shamy Peer Review

General info
Farida Elsefary
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Islamic Heritage of Hyderabad - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Lead
The lead was quite good. It gave an overall brief idea of the city and its population and history. However, the first sentence may need some clarity because it starts with a number (28 states), but this belongs to India in general not Haydarabad, which can be a bit confusing. I'd recommend that you start by stating where Haydarabad is in India and in which state. Then, move on to describe how and where it falls in the larger geography and administration of India.

You may want to make the lead into two paragraphs where the second one starts with "The name of the city means..." The lead was also more about a description of Haydarabad (which can make a section in the article) but I suggest increasing the focus on Islamic heritage in the lead since this is the primary topic of the article.

Content
Overall, the content section was well-written. It gives a brief description of the main examples of Islamic monuments. Still, I suggest giving more context to these monuments since the article is about heritage not monuments only. The historical background was very useful in this regard, but you may also want to consider adding sections about geography and restoration work (if possible). I like that you gave an overview of many monuments, but you may want to explore other forms of heritage, such as objects in museums, folklore, music, literature...etc. (even if very briefly) to give a more holistic view of the Islamic heritage in Haydarabad.

A way to improve the writing style and find more points to elaborate on is to leverage paragraphing. I think you may want to consider writing (or dividing) the subsections into at least two paragraphs. In the monuments section, paragraphing would be very useful and would make the sections easier to read and follow.

I also spotted one typo in this sentence "The original building hat eight gates, four of which are still in use", which you would want to correct.

Tone and Balance
The tone was neutral and unbiased, clearly conforming with the tone of an encyclopedia.

Sources and References
The sources used are reliable and diverse between academic books, journal articles and trusted websites, which is plausible.

Organization
As I said in the above section, the article may benefit from adding more sections on geography, restoration work...etc. to give more holistic contexts. I also feel the monuments needed more categorization. You made them in two sections only: Mosques and other, which can be elaborated upon. You may want to add mausolea, forts, palaces...etc. even if you want to elaborate on only one example. I'd also suggest you give a context on why you chose certain mosques out of the long list you provided because the choice was not clear to me.

You also mentioned that it's called " Bagnagar" in the lead, but you did not mention the gardens in the content. You may also consider exploring a section on important historical figures in the Islamic period who can fit in this article as patrons or craftsmen.

Images and Media
I suppose no new images were added.

Overall impressions
The article gave a decent overview of the main Islamic monuments of the city as well as a historical background about the different dynasties. I think the article would benefit from clearer categorization, and it would be great if you could elaborate on more diverse parts of the Islamic heritage as a whole.