User:FatimaSani21/Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2/Mglamb Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Brandon and Fatima


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:FatimaSani21/Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

Evaluate the drafted changes
Brandon and Fatima,

From my best memory of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, your draft has clearly shown a good understanding of the environmental aspects and comparable creatures within the film. I thought your introduction was excellent. You quickly gave a telling statement about how the creatures in the movie are unrealistic, yet have relatable features. However, I believe this is a perfect time to introduce the term 'foodimal' to the reader and continue to use it throughout your article. This term can define your piece as you discuss the main types of creatures and how their behaviors relate to real animals. In the second paragraph, relating the sizes of the 'foodimals' to their real animal counterparts was great. Here, I would make an extra effort to include vocabulary that is more descriptive rather than just 'big' and 'small' animals. Also, the statement about the cheese spiders shooting their webs being unrealistic was not accurate. Certain species of ground spiders are actually able to shoot or spit their webs. The final statements about the climate change and ecosystem are very informative. Overall, you guys have great content from the movie and with improved organization the ideas will start to flow for the reader. In terms of organization, I would start by adding sections for topics and subtopics before changing the focus mid paragraph.

Mason