User:FeldronIberus/Thomas Melville (writer)/Dresden Norris Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

FeldronIberus


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:FeldronIberus/Thomas_Melville_%28writer%29?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Thomas Melville (writer)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

"he went to Guatemala in 1957" - change "went" to "traveled" or otherwise some more compelling verb. You use "arrived" to describe the same occurrence later on so that would work fine.

Fix grammar of "cowritten" at the end of the lead.

"He spent the next few months in Guatemala City." Probably doesn't need to be included if nothing of relevance happened to him. Or, perhaps, make it part of the previous sentence.

Sentences detailing the destitute nature of the Juan Ixcoy church should be condensed and combined if possible.

More information needs to be added on why this individual was important to the larger liberation theology movement.