User:Feminista del Caribe 22/Machismo/Sshack2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Feminista del Caribe 22


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Machismo
 * Machismo

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall, I really enjoyed your article. It was very informative and well-written. It was also neutral and unbiased, which I know is hard because it's a subject you're passionate about so good job! My only concern is how it fits into the original article; in fact, I think this could be its own article related to machismo as a general concept.

I'm going to go through the article piece by piece because it is easier for me to provide feedback that way since I can't go in and leave comments (at least I don't think). For the Lead, I think it would benefit from being more general and reading more like the abstract of a paper. I think the colonialism information could be its own body piece, and the second half would make for a good lead on its own.

Your second section is great. In the third section, be sure to cite evidence that gender based violence rose (aka cite first sentence). Also, I think you might want to bring in statistics on gender based violence in other years; what makes 2021 especially noteworthy? I feel that the last two sentences of the paragraph can be edited for clarity because the reader might have a bit of trouble understanding the point you are trying to get across.

The last paragraph on its own is great, but I would recommend tying Machismo into it more explicitly.