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Ferritism
This article is about the collective in connection with the Holy Ferret, known as Ferritism. This group is also referred to as “The Church of the Holy Ferret”. It is an emergent force in spiritual observance. It is highly likely it will play an important role in the development of the world’s moral, commercial and oenological development. '''

Origins of the Name
''' The term “ferret” probably derives from the late 14th century Old French furet, diminutive of fuiron "weasel, ferret," (literally, "thief," probably from Late Latin furionem (related to furonem "cat," also "robber"), from Latin fur (genitive furis) "thief." The relation to Ferritism is not definitive but scholars have mooted that the ferret is considered as the thief of impure thoughts which can rob souls of their rash judgments. (See Ferretism Practices below) An alternative but related viewpoint cites early 15th century sources in reference to the use of half-tame ferrets to kill rats and flush rabbits from burrows; the extended sense of "search out, discover" dates from the 1570s. Clearly, the context of “discovery” in terms of spiritual enlightenment and recipes is obvious.

The Ferret moves in mysterious ways. So too does Ferritism. It would appear that the leadership of Ferritism has a Dozen Principals. This group consists of a Brotherhood and Sisterhood each having six significant members. The factions are not separated however and have close contact, there being six unique pairings.

Worship and Liturgy
Ferret Greeting Amongst the faithful, Ferret reference is reverent. To exclaim “Ferrets United” is seen as a meaningful and shared experience. Initially, in response to the “Anti-Rodent” movement, this greeting was disguised and reduced to a solemn “F.U.” A twist in the tale, or in the tail, of the Ferret was the observation that the human hand, with digitus medius extended past a coiled fist, was iconically identical with the tail (Tale) of the Ferret. [See Figures 1a and 1b] Figure 1a						Figure 1b

This has led to the physical greeting of an outstretched finger (see Fig 1c) accompanied by a robust “F.U.”

Figure 2

This greeting has, somewhat surprisingly, led to difficulties amongst young Ferret proselytisers when dealing with the general public.

Ferretism Practices
In accord with the abstinence from rash thoughts Followers of the Holy Ferret are known never to pour their own wine at celebratory feasts.

The Ferret mother
A key figure in Ferretism is the Holy Ferret Mother, Freida. Little is known of her origins but her name has been invoked at many Ferret persecutions with the victimized Ferritists chanting “Freida Ferret, Freida Ferret.”

Doctrine
In Latin, Ferret translates as Migale. This early usage pre-saged English anagrammatic form with its arrangement “I gleam” clearly referring to the Holy Ferret as the true light and resulting in the liturgical usage of candles at feasts. The alternative, “Mig Ale” has not led to using Russian Beer as an alternative to wine for ceremonial purposes. Similarly, the anagrammatic exhortation “GI Meal” has been rejected as an inspiration for ritual dinners amongst the chosen. Thus it is seen that adherents to Ferretism have wide scope for interpreting the true path.

There have been, over time, many attempts at breakaway sects. None have succeeded. The most influential at the time were the so-called “Foxy Ladies” but most others were recognised as using mere weasel words.

History
The full development of this body of knowledge has not been completely researched with exploratory investigation often diverted by the promise of more wine. It would seem that the first reference to the “Holy Ferret” was made in an obscure ceremony in Newcastle, Australia by an early acolyte (known only as “Our Dear Father”) who was the first known to intone the mantra of “Bless Father, Son and the Holy Ferret”. Said announcement of this referential point is remembered by the adherent core, albeit somewhat hazily.

The bas relief (Fig 3), discovered during an extensive search program in Warabrook, Newcastle, provides evidence for the suspected thriving Ferretism movement in pre-European Australia. The detail of the fur and especially the whisker structure give some indication of the reverence given to the Adoration of the Ferret. The discovery location, being in such relatively close proximity to “Horseshoe Beach”, adds evidence for the existence of the holy site at that location. (See Contemporary Issues)

Contemporary Issues
It is rare that a holy site is created in modern times, but the appearance of “The Ferret on a Leash” has raised hope and expectation. The fact that said visitation occurred in Newcastle has elevated the importance of “Horseshoe Beach” to a venerated site.

The Miracle of the Empty Glass
It came to pass that many of the sisterhood had left the feasting board to prepare the Just Deserts when the tragedy of the empty wineglass descended on the table and the brotherhood. But in the midst of gloom and despair the steady and relieving presence of Sister Cheryl of the Pour transformed what was empty into that which was replete with fine wine.

The Casting Out of Serpents
The place of solitude had been sought and found and provided peace and tranquillity for the order. But this ashram was sorely put upon by the Invasion of the Serpent, a truly evil beast. Rising to the challenge came Brother Tony who, in accord with ancient tradition, randomly placed pieces of base metal in the vicinity of the serpents head in sure knowledge that, statistically, there was every chance one might strike true. Praise to the Ferret – one did! A true miracle.

The Mount of Grapes and Olives
There were often times when the true and faithful have been tempted. Such a time occurred when a small band of the order undertook a pilgrimage to foreign soils. There were many visits to shrines and recourse to iconic travellers’ protectors but, even though it was unknown to him at the time, Brother Ricardo (as he was known in this far off land) was able to lead the faithful to the promise of Ferreting out the joys and benefits of wine and nibbles (with a good tapenade) at the top of the mount.