User:Fetchcomms/Humor

     Indiscrimination  His Love For Real Estate Never Went Away  A poem of sorts  2011

   U pon Terry's birth the doctor informed his parents that he would likely not live through his first month due to cranial stenosis.   He was the one surviving child from that marriage. </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">The experience convinced him that he was not cut out to be a doctor. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">They lived in Mexico for a brief period, where he painted </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">halls, bowling alleys, traditional cantinas, car clubs, full contact strip clubs </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">The venture was unsuccessful so they turned to the more conventional method of vinegar brewing. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">His love for real estate never went away. </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">He formed a fine library and kept it open to scholars </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Aptly adopted from the ancient city of Troy. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">He turned professional in 1991 </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Illuminating the murky mismanagement of natural-gas royalties </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">He then hosted a television talk show, and ran unsuccessfully for Congress in Pennsylvania </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Knocking out numerous opponents with his trademark shoulder push </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">After The Daily Telegraph condemned the idea and warned people would die </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">But lost his investment through the dishonesty of his partner. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Trapped in a life of prostitution and drug addiction </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Mass graves, scalpings, and bodies with other signs of murder and mutilation such as dismemberment and arrow wounds </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">His wife was gunned down by masked thieves </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">Two inexperienced young people who get into trouble when they visit a town for the very first time. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">He met with a similar fate </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">He was dragged into court with cries of "We have him!" from the mob, and as he was already convicted, he was summarily executed. He was hanged naked before his throat was cut. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">His four children decide to employ a maid to manage the household chores </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">An eccentric millionaire, who unexpectedly </li> <li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">began his career as a juggling pedagogue by handing out 75 tennis balls to his sophomore remedial-reading class. </li>

<li style="margin-left:2em; padding-left:2em;"> <p style="margin:0 0 0 3.5em; font-style:normal;">The remains of the camp where they all perished, were discovered many years later. </li> </ol>

<div style="padding-left: 6px; padding-bottom: 30px;   width: 300px; float: left;"> <div style="   font-size: 1.4em;    margin: 0 auto 20px;    overflow: hidden;    padding: 0 0 0 3px;    width: 240px;"> <span style=" background: transparent;   color: #068b21;    font-family: Georgia,Times New Roman,Times,serif;    font-size: 0.8em;    padding: 0;    width: 210px; margin: 0; vertical-align: middle;> This poem comprises sentences and sentence fragments obtained from clicking Special:Random for one hour.

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<div style="font-size: 0.85em;   line-height: 1.75em; margin-bottom: 10px; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; display: block;"> <ol class="plainlinks" style="color: #068b21;   margin: 0 0 0 6px; list-style-type: decimal; margin-left: 2em;"> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> According to unverified reports, Terry MacAlmon was born with a dangerous "premature closure of the soft spot in his head" but survived through what he considers a miracle. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Albrecht, Duke of Bavaria was apparently the only child of Rupprecht, Crown Prince of Bavaria and Duchess Marie Gabrielle in Bavaria who did not die at an early age. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Giorgio Armani once served in a military hospital, but is clearly more comfortable designing luxury apparel. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> After marrying a German woman, Melvin Van Peebles painted portraits in Mexico but later moved to San Francisco, where he began operating cable cars. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> "Just about everything for recreation can be found in Mexicali"—now, are those strip clubs part of the bowling alleys? </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> A process used by Felix Booth and a business partner to produce vinegar from leftover spirit ultimately failed, forcing them to use to a more common method. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Vernand Morency, whose undying passion for real estate made this poem possible, manages properties throughout the United States, according to unverified claims. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Lucius Licinius Lucullus, who wrote himself, supported scholars by opening a library in his sculpture-filled gardens. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> The mascot of East Troy High School is, unimaginatively, a Trojan. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> David Branshaw turned professional in 1991]. He has won two professional events since then. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> TriCities.com is a partner of the Bristol Herald Courier, which was awarded some big-name award or other after figuring out that the government owed lots of people big money. The unpaid money had to do with natural gas royalties, and not the kind where a royal person expels flatus. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> After Richard Carl Fuisz graduated from Georgetown University School of Medicine, he portrayed doctors in health films before hosting a talk show and losing a congressional race. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Hardy Brown was a linebacker so notoriously aggressive that his gear was once checked due to suspicion of illegitimate modification. The St. Louis Rams allegedly offered to pay any of its players a bonus to take Brownout. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> In discussing the world's highest marathon, The Daily Telegraph warned readers about the risk of death, obviously increasing interest and participation in the race. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> During Reconstruction, Ira Hobart Evans established a ranch in Texas, only to lose it to his prevaricating partner. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> The rather confusing Ikebukuro West Gate Park series includes a former prostitute and addict whose friend's name is cleared only through a drug bust involving a cross-dresser. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Over one hundred burial sites have been discovered at the Harrell Site. Archaeologists speculate that the fertile site was at the center of numerous land disputes, which were evidently very bitter and primitive. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> The protagonist of The Salton Sea is a widower; his wife was murdered by a corrupt police officer, who he later kills. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> The plot of The Wild and the Innocent revolves around "two inexperienced young people who get in trouble when they visit a town";nbsp;...but it would probably be more interesting if "town" was replaced with any term containing a sexual references. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Samuel Gorton was forced out of Plymouth Colony for his opinions and attitude; his insubordination toward the magistrates of Portsmouth landed him in similar circumstances and resulted in his whipping. Evidently a very disagreeable person (or maybe towns whose names begin with "P" are just very touchy), Gorton was in hot water after moving to Providence, and was even imprisoned later on. After several years in England, Gorton returned to New England and joined the civil authority that he had once rejected. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> Poor Robert Tresilian. Already a harsh and disliked judge, his strong support for Richard II led to his graphic execution. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> In Vive La Famille, the children of a widower decide to hire a maid after their father suffers a stroke. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> The Busch Campus of Rutgers University is named after Charles L. Busch, an eccentric millionaire who willed $10 million to the university after his 1971 death. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> During his time as a student teacher, John Cassidy distributed tennis balls for juggling to a remedial reading class. The students' response prompted Cassidy and two friends to publish Juggling for the Complete Klutz, which then led to the founding of Klutz Press. </li> <li style="font-weight: bold;   list-style: decimal outside none;    margin-left: 16px;    margin: 0;    padding: 0;"> <span style="color: #000000;   font-weight: normal;    text-indent: 0; line-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 4px;"> David Vaughan perished during an expedition to discover the Northwest Passage. Vaughan and the other members of the voyage were shipwrecked at Marble Island, and their remains were later found by Samuel Hearne. </li> </ol>