User:FffirePenguin/Widowmaker (Overwatch)/Tamarindrind Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

FffirePenguin


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:FffirePenguin/Widowmaker (Overwatch)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Widowmaker (Overwatch)

Evaluate the drafted changes
From your sandbox draft, it looks like the section you're adding information to is the lead. I like your mention of the sequel, Overwatch 2. From the original article, there isn’t much describing her role as a playable character in the second game, so I think this helps the article’s clarity. From your new lead section, it’s a little unclear if Chloe Hollings voices her in both French and English media - the comma is throwing me off in that sentence, so maybe restructuring that part would be helpful. (I’ve noticed a pattern of commas before ‘ands' in the article - in sentences with only 2 items in a list, you don’t need a comma before the ‘and’.) Overall, the drafted lead is a little too detailed and somewhat redundant. Your draft is great for giving a brief overview of the article's major sections and important points, though. Not including specific dates and being more concise could help strengthen your draft. Your proposed lead section seems consistent, accurate, and well-written, giving a good description of the character for someone with very little knowledge of Overwatch.