User:Fiondion/Park Rehyun/Poppyprint Peer Review

'''Hi Fiona! You have a very good basis, but the article should be more developed by now. I am not seeing any additions or revisions past April 10. I am concerned that you won't receive full credit if you let this slip any longer. I was not 100% sure which ones are your contributions and which are from the current Wikipedia article, but it seems like you still need to add more content to meet the word count requirement of the final assignment. I noticed that the section on Park's works is quite short and you could definitely use the scholarly sources (especially the ones on our course reserve) to improve the current version. You could also mention the recent retrospective at the National Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art - you can cite English-language newspaper articles about the exhibition.'''

'''The article is still missing a biography. I want to make sure that you are using good, reliable sources - especially since the current Wikipedia article seems to lack the recently published scholarly sources! Having them in the references alone will be an important contribution.'''

Make sure that you are linking existing Wikipedia pages and including in-line citations!

Biography
Park was born in the city of Jinnampo in South Korea's South Pyongan Province. (Please check again. The province is now in North Korea and should be updated as such) After graduating from Gyeongseong high school (use uppercase; and check the name of the school again. I am assuming that it was a women's high school?) in 1937, she entered the Tokyo Women's School of Fine Arts in 1941 during the Japanese occupation of Korea (provide the date range here for more clarification, so that readers would not think that only 1941 was part of the Japanese occupation).

Park married a celebrated artist, Kim Ki-chang, '''in 1946 which caused a stir within the art community because of their social statuses. Park Rehyun, considered a modern woman, married a man who was hearing-impaired and only finished elementary school. Park's husband, with whom she presented exhibitions and private showcases, helped highlight her work though she was already beginning her journey by herself. Her works sought to use oriental materials to provide for western-style artwork, combining abstract and modern art styles. (needs clarification: what's the difference between "abstract" and "modern"? Did you mean figural?)''' A pioneering woman painter, she rejected prejudices against women and completed her own paintings with passion.

Her youngest daughter, who is a nun in South Korea, said in an interview that she had spent her life as a good mother, as well as a committed painter and wife. Park was said to have struggled with juggling her domestic life while trying to take care of her four children and finding inspiration for her artwork.

In 1976, Park died of liver cancer at her residence in Seongbuk District, Seoul.

Works
She made her debut by being accepted to the Chosen Art exhibition sponsored by (you could edit the existing article too) of the Governor-General of Korea in 1943. Soon winning the Governor's Award for her painting "Make-Up" in the 1943 Joseon Exhibition (1. This is not a proper sentence - where is the subject and verb? 2. Can you see that the existing article uses different spelling - Chosen instead of Chosun, Choson or Joseon? You may want to clarify that and make sure the readers know that this is the same exhibition). Later (after independence?), she was awarded the first prize given by the President of the Republic of Korea (when?) and grand prize in the National Art exhibition of Korea (when?), gaining her wider attention away from her husband..(<-I think for this sentence to work better, you need to establish that her husband was a successful and famous artist)

She participated in domestic art exhibitions until the early 1960s. In xxxx,  and then flew to  Park also participated in the São Paulo Biennale as an official South Korean delegate. After finishing her work, she visited several nations in Latin America, including Mexico, then studied tapestry and printmaking in New York City.

'''[If I am understanding it correctly, this section is from the previous article. I think there is a lot of room for improvement here. You could choose to provide more information, and the current wording sounds problematic and could use some editing - who uses words like "Oriental painting" these days???]'''

Briefly, her works can be separated into 4 time periods. The first (1940s) concentrated on Japanese paintings and figure paintings. The second (1950s) challenged her own work with traditional materials of oriental painting in a western-drawing manner; her pieces at this time produced half-abstract paintings by interpreting cubism and partition of the canvas in an analytic method. The third phase (1960s) began experimenting abstractionism, and the fourth period (1970s) made use of printmaking skills in creative drawing.

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