User:FishLoaf/Bob Moses (activist)/Failurebusstop Peer Review

General info
FishLoaf, PotatoFanatic
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:FishLoaf/Bob Moses (activist)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Bob Moses (activist)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Good summary- For the edits to his death: Add the year he died, not just the date, change wording of "he died with 4 children" to "he left behind his 4 children, all of whom spoke at his funeral", or something like that as the first version sounds like the children died as well. One of the cited articles is the wikipedia article itself?