User:Fishratthings/Predictive adaptive response/CFB1019 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Fishratthings


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Fishratthings/Predictive_adaptive_response?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Predictive adaptive response

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello,

I will put this peer review in a few different locations because I do not know where it can be accessed. I see that not many edits have been made yet because you are just starting, but I am glad that you made the correction of putting the scientific name of an organism in italics. I also like that you found another example of a PAR. Since all but one of the examples are listed as nouns ("development," "production," and "determination"), I would change the example with rats to be something like "glucose intolerance in adult rats whose mother was exposed to glucocorticoid during late gestation." Also, the rat example currently does not indicate that the glucose intolerance occurs in the offspring of rats exposed to glucocorticoid; it implies that the exposed rat acquires a glucose intolerance. Maybe one good edit could be to create a more distinct lead section that is shorter than the current introductory paragraph.