User:Fkholbrook/sandbox

LSU
Louisiana State University is located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. It is home to Mike the tiger. Mike is from the Exotic Feline Rescue of Indiana.

Articles that I am editing
Crime_in_Chicago Suggestions/Things to fix: -grammar mistake in the first sentence -cite/link to page "mediamatter.org" -style of first paragraph is confusing and difficult to understand. -Cut out transitions at the beginning of the paragraphs: e.g. "Also interesting to note" -Writing needs to be more concise and to the point.
 * Approved. If you're interested in the topic, you can also come back to this article for Assignment 3. It needs a better lead section. Josef Horáček (talk) 17:55, 7 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Did you forget the edit the article? Josef Horáček (talk) 22:18, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
 * It looks like I did forget to make the changes. Ill do that now. Fkholbrook (talk) 00:29, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

Assignment 2
Article: Biotin deficiency Additional Sources: -Ortigoza-Escobar, Juan Darío, et al. "Thiamine Transporter-2 Deficiency: Outcome And Treatment Monitoring." Orphanet Journal Of Rare Diseases 9.1 (2014): 1-21. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015. -Larrieta, Elena, et al. "Effects Of Biotin Deficiency On Pancreatic Islet Morphology, Insulin Sensitivity And Glucose Homeostasis." Journal Of Nutritional Biochemistry 23.4 (2012): 392-399. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015. -Masahiro, Yuasa, et al. "Consumption Of A Low-Carbohydrate And High-Fat Diet (The Ketogenic Diet) Exaggerates Biotin Deficiency In Mice." Nutrition 29.10 (2013): 1266-1270. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015. -Via, Michael. "The Malnutrition Of Obesity: Micronutrient Deficiencies That Promote Diabetes." ISRN Endocrinology (2012): 1-8. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.
 * This looks like a worthy project, but please keep in mind that medical articles have extra stringent rules on Wikipedia. (Believe it or not, some people use Wikipedia to self-diagnose and self-treat medical conditions. The accuracy of the information can literally save lives.) I'll let you work on this article, especially since it's not about a life-threatening condition, but do read up on the requirements for medial article on Wikipedia. If I understand it correctly, you shouldn't use articles that report on single case studies but rather sources that summarize multiple studies and present information that's widely accepted in the field. Make sure that your sources meet those criteria. Josef Horáček (talk) 23:32, 12 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for adding the sources to the article. You'll notice, though, that your citations are not consistent with standard established in that article. The citations are really just shorthand footnotes that in turn refer to the bullet list of references below. Josef Horáček (talk) 03:43, 1 March 2015 (UTC)

Assignment 3
Article: Cyprus dwarf elephant This article has a lead section, however it needs quite a bit of work. The section is only one sentence long and does not provide an adequate amount of information on the cyprus dwarf elephant. The information presented in the lead section of this article is fine, however, more information should be added to the section.
 * New Lead for article:The Cyprus dwarf elephant (Palaeoloxodon cypriotes) is an extinct species of elephant related to the living Asian elephant. It was among the only mammals on Cyprus before human arrived, and it is thought the Cyprus dwarf elephant came during the last Ice Age. They were only about 40 inches in height. Their small size is thought to be a response to limited resources experienced by their ancestors.
 * That's certainly an improvement. You should definitely add an internal link to the ice age. It might also be worthwhile to say when the elephant became extinct. For style and grammar: Keep the second sentence in the singular (it should start with "it"). Delete "the" before "humans." Josef Horáček (talk) 03:50, 1 March 2015 (UTC)
 * "Humans" should be in the plural. Good job otherwise. Josef Horáček (talk) 12:34, 10 March 2015 (UTC)