User:Floccinaucinihilipilification1/Hippias (tyrant)/MinervaNix Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Floccinaucinihilipilification1


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Floccinaucinihilipilification1/Hippias_(tyrant)?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:


 * The lead tells the reader, what the article is about. It was largely unchanged, except for the last word.


 * Quick question, was Hippias actually forced to flee or did he just leave Athens?

Content:


 * You did a good job adding to the overall article.


 * I think it was a good idea to take out the second paragraph from the main article, as it does not speak about Hippias’ tyranny.


 * Under heading Tyrant of Athens “Peisistratos” has an internal link to it, but as it is not the first time in the article that he has been mentioned it does not need another internal link to it. Typically you do an internal link the first time a person/place/concept is mentioned in an article then if used again you leave them alone.


 * For the first paragraph under Tyrant of Athens, I think it would be a good idea to change “He” to Hippias.


 * Are there internal links for “Aiantides” or “Hippoklos”?


 * Under Attempts to Reclaim the Tyranny and Death, is it known where in Asia he returned to? If so you might want to add it, so it can be more specific.

Tone and Balance:


 * The content is neutral from what I can tell and there are no claims that appear heavily biased towards a position.

Sources and References:


 * The source you added is reliable. It reflects the literature on the topic.

Organization:


 * Content is well written.


 * I think you made a good decision to remove the pictures of the coins while interesting they make the article slightly busy.

Images and Media:


 * The image you added is relevant to article and has a caption that tells the reader what it is.

Overall Impression:


 * From what I could tell not much was needed to be added to the main article. I do like the different image of the plain of Marathon than the one from the original page.