User:FloreHalejcio/Sexuality in South America/Nr2023 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

@FloreHalejcio


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:FloreHalejcio/Sexuality_in_South_America?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: I’m sure you will still do this, but I would add a lead section that overviews the article.

Content:

Is the content relevant: All of the ideas you have discussed (subheadings) are really relevant to your topic, especially since there wasn’t already a wiki article on this information. In your lead, you can briefly explain all these subheadings you discuss.

Is the content up to date?: Based on what you have right now, I can’t tell if the content is up to date. I see that you have used other wiki sites and put a link for one reference. Make sure you make a reference section and cite everything.

Is there content missing or that doesn’t belong: I think you have provided a well-rounded history of sexuality in South America. I see that you plan to talk about abortion and feminism. I wonder if you could make the topic of abortion broader to “reproductive rights.” Also, you talk about gender identity in pre-colonial history; maybe if there is research on it, you want to provide information after the arrival of Europeans.

Does this article deal with one of the Wikipedia equity gaps: Yes, it does; you are starting a new article and addressing a topic that has almost no information on it, so this is a highly underrepresented area

Tone and Balance:

Is the content added neutral: I think most of the sentences I found to be not neutral could be fixed by changing a few words. For example, in the sentence “The Christians considered homosexuality so dangerous for society as a whole that they did not hesitate to be cruel in the punishments they imposed on homosexuals,” words like cruel and dangerous make this not neutral. Maybe you could rephrase it to something like, “Traditionally, Christians have been opposed to homosexuality, enforcing harsh punishments on them.” Make sure you are not taking a side when you frame the information.

Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented or underrepresented: I don't really have any feedback here; I think this was fine

Sources and References: Currently, you haven’t provided any sources or in-text references. I’m sure you plan to add this to your draft.

Organization:

Is the content added well-written: I think the information you have provided is good. I think you may just need to go back and rewrite a few sentences to ensure you are writing from a neutral point of view.

Does the content added have grammatical errors: Only a few grammatical errors. Maybe just put your text through Grammarly to catch these and help with the structure of a few sentences