User:Fluffernutter/Three quits and you're out

Have you tried to ragequit Wikipedia, only to find yourself back within days? Have you vanished but still keep getting sucked in? Do your friends laugh and lay bets on what day you'll be back editing mainspace again after you quit? Then you need to become acquainted with the 3 Quits rule.

Call to arms
We at Wikipedia know that the encyclopedia is a harsh mistress, one who often refuses to release its servants even when they assert their right to freedom. Time after time, innocent editors, disgusted at what Wikipedia or its denizens have become, have tried to quit it; time after time, those editors are drawn inexorably back to their old stomping grounds and soon find themselves once again bound by the same chains they so recently shook off.

Enough, we say. It's time to break free, and if Wikipedia won't let you go, then we'll fight her for your freedom.

How it works
If you suffer from the inability to complete a ragequit, please know that we can help. One ragequit followed by a return might simply indicate a bad day. Two ragequits and returns signify something seriously wrong. But when a user ragequits for the third time, it is beyond all doubt that they want to be free of Wikipedia. Sadly, sometimes even when you've hit bottom you need someone else to throw out that last pack of cigarettes or bottle of liquor. All third ragequits will be treated as acts of desperation by editors too addicted to be able to go cold turkey on their own, and will be responded to by administrators sympathetic to the plight of quitting Wikipedia. To this end, upon an editor's third ragequit, an administrator will block that account for one year, to assist in the difficult process of letting go.

Alternate route: Safeword
Users also have the option of using a safeword attached to their quitting:
 * 1) Similar to a committed identity, a user may create a safeword ahead of time and either hash it, identify it on their userpage, or give it to a trusted administrator
 * 2) If at any time the user is sure that they want to quit Wikipedia, they may invoke the safeword
 * 3) No matter where in the 3 Quits process the users is - if they've ragequit once, twice, or never - upon invocation of the safeword, an administrator will apply a 3 Quits block to the editor

Tough love
Because tough love is often necessary for rehabilitation, 3 Quits blocks will be enforced as one-year community bans, to encourage editors to break away completely. An editor who is blocked under 3 Quits provisions is not welcome back on Wikipedia until after their yearlong block expires; socking or logged-out editing are likewise not acceptable, as the goal is for the editor to completely disassociate from Wikipedia's influence.

If an editor under a 3 Quits block wishes to return to the community prior to the end of one year, they must apply to Arbcom for a lifting of their ban. This has the benefit of enforcing a waiting period between the editor's decision to return to Wikipedia and the granting of their request, during which time the editor may reflect on whether it is, indeed, in their best interests to fall off the wagon, and Arbcom may reflect on whether the editor is competent to make decisions regarding their addiction.

Return
Upon the expiration of a 3 Quits block or the successful BASC appeal of such, editors are free to return to editing if they so desire, but are strongly encouraged to contribute responsibly and in moderation. A fourth ragequit after the lifting or expiration of a 3 Quits block will be treated as evidence of continuing addiction, and will result in the placement of an indefinite 3 Quits block.

But what am I going to do?
Well, there's always Simple English Wikipedia. Or Wiktionary. Or maybe sort photos on Commons into categories. Or maybe try Citizendium. Any wiki you choose would be glad to have your sound and calm non-drama-queen behaviour.

Or just go outside. Walk miles and miles away from your computer, and you'll pass trees and flowers and happy, smiling children who have never even posted on WP:ANI. Imagine that. Sit down and read a book, knowing that you don't have to write a Cite book template. Breathe in deeply, and whisper "freedom!" For a moment, you might experience what normal people feel. But you'll be back.