User:Fmsrlyams/Kom people (Cameroon)/Navar2mr Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
There wasn’t a lot added to this lead section yet, but eventually, I think it could be improved with some more general background information like population, location, origin and a general outline of what sections will be in the article.

The content added was mostly in the Spirituality/Religion and Agriculture/economy sections. Both of these sections are relevant to the Kom people. The religion section seems to jump right into how the Kom religious system was changed due to colonialism. The author references “traditional values”, but there isn’t any information on what those traditional values were. When this information gets added, it would be most beneficial for it to be mentioned before the information about colonialism. I think in general this area needs a little more exposition; more background on hierarchies, and traditional values. This will make the section more cohesive when new information is added.

The tone remains neutral for all added information. While nothing here reads as biased, the author might want to change the wording of some of the section headings to be more concise. For example, “Government and Politics, Spirituality and Religion, Economy and Agriculture…etc”. The headings are a little redundant and would be more concise if they were just one general topic name.

The sources used are current and reliable. One is an historical ethnography, and the other is an academic journal. While I wasn’t able to review the book source, the journal had a link that works and the information used was relevant to that source. My only advice would be to have more sources, but that will come with more information.

This article is pretty well organized. As mentioned before, the heading names could be more concise. Also keep in mind that when you add to the religion section, that some more background information before details about the colonial church will help with organization as well. Other than that, I think the layout of this page works well.

Overall, this article is off to a nice start. There is a variety of information with room to grow, and it looks like you have a good plan in place.