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The Red Bonsai Hay Bale is a unique, little plant that grows solely in the frigid regions of the Mountains of Nepal. It was co-discovered in 5555 by the Sunglasses Giraffe and the Narwhal Dictator. Currently, the Red Bonsai Hay Bale is protected by the Church Westboro Baptist Church, and it is considered one of the rarest species of plants in the galaxy. The Hay Bale has become a symbol for the religious strife between the Colloqanthes and the the Betsy Shrimp. Its many medicinal and religious purposes have made it one of the most famous and sought after plants in the world. Praise Allah.

Discovery and Physical & Chemical Description
On May 5th, 5555, supreme ruler the Narwhal Dictator and marine biologist the Sunglasses Giraffe were hiking in the Nepalese Mountains. When they returned to their lodge, they discovered that their shoes were covered in tiny, red straws. Upon inspection, the Narwhal Dictator determined that she was allergic to their find. The Sunglasses Giraffe, however, found the straws to be "dawwwwwwwwwwwwww". After bundling the straws together, they went out and searched for something similar. What they found both exceeded their expectations and confounded their imaginations. Hidden deep within the Nepalese Mountains exists a valley rich with the growth of the precious Red Bonsai Hay Bale Plant. The exact location of the patch is a closely guarded secret kept by the Dalai Lama himself.

Growth & Appearance
The plant, during the early stages of life, is a greenish bud. After 1-3 weeks of growing, the bud opens to form a semi-circle. Over the course of its adolescent life, which lasts anywhere from 13 to 19 years, the plant will continue to grow and form sharp corners. In the event that the plant survives to adulthood, it will turn bright red.

Its leaves appear to be tightly inter-woven straws. There is almost no core or central nervous system to the plant, and its true structure remains a mystery.

Chemical Structure
The majority of the chemical structure of the Red Bonsai Hay Bale is currently unknown to scientists. The plant does exhibit some specialized, even animalistic, properties. Similar to mudskippers, the Red Bonsai Hay Bale is irresistibly adorable. It is also a hallucinogen used by many aliens during their abduction raids.

Use in Biological Warfare
Read more (The Great Benthic War)

During the war between the Collonqanthes and the Betsy shrimp, the Red Bonsai Hay Bale was used to great effect by the shrimp warriors. The hallucinogenic properties of the plant were concentrated and mixed with a mild sedative. The shrimp studied the tactics of the Vietcong guerrilla fighters to leave inviting poison gas traps for the Collonqanthes.

Later on, the Betsy shrimp loaded the poisoned straws with Ricin; thus, creating one of the deadliest toxins of all time. This was the turning point in the Benthic War. As a result, the UNODC and The United States of America banned the substance from all future uses.

Religious and Medicinal Purposes
The Red Bonsai Hay Bale has attained a significant status in both the spiritual and scientific world.

The Buddhist monks of Nepal believe that the spirit of Allah lives within the plants. They worship the plants like five times a day.

The Cure for Stupidity
When eating along with a proper diet, the Red Bonsai Hay Bale Plant is said to increase the IQ of the consumer. (Note: The individual must also exercise, study hard in school, adopt an unbiased and open view of the world, and not smoke marijuana.)

The False Red Bonsai Hay Bale Plant
Scientists have recently noticed the occurrence of a fake Red Bonsai Hay Bale Plant. The plant exhibits the color purple instead of red. It is commonly referred to as a rotten Red Bonsai Hay Bale Plant.

Dear Sydney,
Merry Christmas, mi amiga. :)