User:Francinewithaperm/Cleomenes I/PericlesIsMyWaifu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Francinewithaperm


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * N/A


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cleomenes I

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Overall I think the lead looks pretty good with how it introduces the subject. The biggest alteration I'd make is in the part detailing the pronunciation fo his name, where it says, "though some older reference works give the pronunciation with the accent on the penult, which is closer to the Greek." This should probably be removed and included as a note (though I admit I'm not sure how to do that) for the sake of being concise. Aside from that, I'd change that bit noting the year of his death to be a note of his overall reign (something like: r. 519-489 BCE).

Clarity

Everything, for the most part, is ordered in a sensible way. The only thing I'd change is to move the "Historical significance portion to the end of the article rather than the beginning. That way, someone can consider Cleomenes's significance after already knowing about his life, rather than having the notion thrust on them before they know anything.

Coverage balance

Everything for the most part seems proportionally long. That said, The "Historical significance" section definitely deserves elaboration beyond the short blurb it is now. Similarly, I think the "Exile and death" section should be a bit more detailed, if possible.

Content neutraility

There doesn't appear to be any passages speaking from the contributors' point of view as the article currently exists. There is a bit in the table of contents on the "Further reading" section that looks like one of your editorial notes. Should probably remove that since it's a public page.

Sources

The sources that are there seem to be good. That said, they're pretty scant as is right now. If you could bring in more, that would be a good addition. Also, there's a few "Citation needed" tags throughout the article. Finding and adding those sources to those sections would also be a good addition.

Aside from all that, I'd recommend adding some images to the article. It'd probably help add some visual flavor.