User:Francis ogbonna/sandbox

WHAT MANNER OF HUSBAND ARE YOU? PREAMBLE:

Marriage in recent times have taken different dimensions, while some could be described as successful many are either on the brink of collapse or in a state of what could be referred to as “ an enduring marriage” God who instituted this union made it to be both beneficial and enjoyable to human beings but we humans have decided to turn into something else. As husband, how far have you been able to fulfill your own part towards the growth and success of the marriage institution? What type of attitude/ behavior do you exhibit within the confines of your marriage? How can your wife describe you? These questions and more elicited the topic of this write-up. So read further and find out!

AUTOCRATIC HUSBAND: He is a self-knowledge, self-involved, unbending, unyielding husband. Nobody can correct him, nobody can counsel him. To him, he knows everything. He is very arrogant and stubborn. He has no mentor. He does not fear, honour or respect anybody. He doesn't want anybody to advise him and he cannot be influenced by anybody especially his wife, who hardly knows his plans or what he may do next. He is a difficult man to live with. (2). CORROSIVE HUSBAND: He is abusive; hot tempered and a wife beater. He is not in charge of his temper. He is a no-joke, no-play, no-laughter and no-nonsense man. He shouts and barks at home. The house is a military camp; his room is a defence headquarters, while he is the garrison commander, lion of the family and commander in chief of family forces. (3). SOLO HUSBAND- He stays in separate room away from his wife. He is a “single” married man. He prefers sharing his secret with friends; the only time he talks to his wife is when he needs food and sex. He is self-centered; his common words are “I”, “me”, “mine” and myself”. He is full of self-glorification, self-justification and stinginess. (4). SEMI-HUSBANDS- They are not real husbands, they are men under their trouser but lesser than that in their duties at home. They are real men in bed and on the dining table; but when it gets to paying school fees they are nothing. It is their wives that pay the house rent, electricity bills, buy food and provide generally for the family. It is not that he is not working; it's just that he is a useless man that will not provide for his own family. While some are too lazy to work, others that have money spend their money outside to the detriment of peace in their homes. A semi-husband is a disgrace,( Proverbs 24:27, I Tim 5:8.) (6). SUPERMARKET HUSBANDS- These are the kind of husbands that are unfaithful to their wives. They are everybody's husband. They spend lavishly on their girl friends, women friends, women of easy virtue and concubines outside while giving little or nothing to their husband. To men like this, anything in skirt goes. They pay huge amount of money on hotel bills. They are shameless that they visit brothels, Some even go to the extent of sleeping with their house-maids and their wives' younger sisters. (7). EXECUTIVE HUSBANDS- These type live their lives in an executive way. Their wives to have any close relationship with them. They operate their rooms as if it is the general manager's office- no love, no romance and no intimacy. If their wives want to enter their rooms, they have to knock and obtain permission before coming in. They do issue orders to their family members as if to the workers under them and inform their families about their plans as if addressing a press conference; where no journalist is allowed to ask any question. Their wives cannot easily talk to them. One common thing among is that most of them are business executives hence, they use their office experience to run their homes. They hardly respect their wives. if their business is not going on fine, their whole family is in trouble. Many of them always want their wives to be fulltime house wives with no allowance so that they can have full control over them. (8). TRADITIONAL HUSBANDS: They see their wives as properties. They believe women are third class citizens, only to be seen and not heard, useful only in the kitchen and bedroom. To them, a woman is just a cook, a tool of pleasure and baby making machine. They hardly give attention to their wives. They believe that women should be beaten if they misbehave, peradventure the woman fails to give birth to a baby boy then she is a failure. Woe betide her if she is barren! TOURIST HUSBANDS: This type of husbands travel from Japan to Taiwan, China to Dubai, Germany to United Kingdom etc, they are never at home and as such are ignorant of what is happening within their household. They prefer staying away in other man’s country than their motherland. While some could be attributed to the search for greener pasture, some of them do this to escape from their responsibilities at home. They therefore saddle their wives with the sole responsibility of rearing, training and parenting their children. Their children could hardly give a vivid description of their father as many of these children were toddlers when their fathers went in search of greener pasture abroad. The result is that the society may be breeding unknowingly dysfunctional future leaders that may find it difficult to adapt to the norms of the society as these children either by omission or commission has lost an impact of a father figure in their upbringing. As for their wives, they have since learned to adjust their lives as “single” married women (9). BABY HUSBANDS: They are not under-aged men physically, but they are infant mentally. They have just refused to grown up. They know how to build a house but not how to make a home. Their characteristics include: • He keeps malice with his wife • Rejects food because he is angry • Beating his wife • Reporting his wife to friends and family members • keeping a separate room from his wife. • Embarrassing his wife publicly • Hardly attend functions with his wife. • Loving his mother more than his wife • Refusing to give house-keeping allowance because of a little misunderstanding • Cannot be influenced by his wife •  Nags his wife. • Never pray with his wife • Find it difficult to say “I am sorry”. • Criticizes and compares his wife with other women • Does not love his wife, if he does; he will never say it, or demonstrate it. • He leaves the house without anybody knowing where he has gone to. • Gives no room for romance and intimacy. All he wants is sex. • Leaves his house without anybody knowing where about •   Never does anything to improve his marriage. Does not read marriage books, does not  attend seminar or go for counseling. (10). Kingdom Husbands- They are extra-ordinary husbands; they are what God want them to be as husband. They know that their God is to be feared and worshipped, their wives are to be loved and their children are to be catered for. Infact They are “real men”, men indeed; they are the SUNSHINE in the lives of their wives and children. They are men of integrity. They pray with and for their wives, they are faithful, loving, caring, listens to the suggestions of their wives, they cherish and nourish their wives, they are good communicator who don’t keep secrets, they apologies easily and forgive easily, they lead their homes with wisdom, they never retaliates, they provide for their family, the leave parents and cleave to their wives, their  wives knows how much they are earning, they do support their wives in the kitchen, skillful in bedroom,  closer to their wives, actively involved in child bearing, rearing, discipline and parenting. Infact they are role models for others to emulate.