User:Fraudo/The Fly Red Emirates Bull League

Gents, as discussed we should get Ollie a wedding present, and it should be related to Champo. I'm thinking a Framed Newspaper, done in the style of a 1940s paper, but with articles relating to Champo and Francisco Javier Sánchez Broto. The layout of the paper is difficult, and we'll bring it all together in time, for now we should work on the stories. I've divided each story in to a section, and have the word count in the section title. It is rough and will need some editing. Here is a link to the original wikipedia page Francisco Javier Sánchez Broto and one for the irish times layoutIrish Times from May 1945

Masthead
Name: The Irish Times

Price: £1. 1s. 2d.

Date: 17th March 2017

Advertisement to top left:

Advertisement to top right:

Main Story. 800-1000 words. The breakdown of the Good Friday Agreement - a breakdown of the peace process and a re-gathering of the major players at the time.
Headline: No Peace Today in Ireland

Story: ....

Next Story. 800-1000 words. Shagger the Paedo Teacher. All about shagger and the many lies.
Headline: Now Pedo Teacher Shagger Lynch Prowls Kid's Chess Tournament

Story: ....

Next Story. 800-1000 words. The Bannon Inquiry. Story about Burko not adhering to the inquiries results & the consequences.
Headline: An abomination of a man, a grotesque fraud, and an affront to humanity ignores Inquiry

Story: ....

Next Story. 800-1000 words. Sports news. Reference to His performance in a recent game, lots of rehashing of the original Wikipedia article, including His early life
Headline Unused Substitute Saves Penalty

Story

Other Story. 250 words. Obituary for Pepe Sanchez Broto
Headline Bizarre Banana Plantation Accident Kills Film Star

Story Obituary concerning Pepe Sanchez Broto.

Ad bottom left
This ad for MB roll seems like a natural choice. White for purity!

General Ideas for other stories & Topics to Cover
Re-use (and expand if possible) a lot of the original Wikipedia article

Ollie getting arrested for possession of dog porn

Reference to a port / lake / something in Mullingar. And a traveller brawl.

Reference Kristallnacht somewhere.

Reg the painter. A Stip Club. Giving a woman a Knee trembler.

Ollie's black maid's upon hearing classical music "This is the music they play when the army is coming"

The welsh threat (Burko can we get this in somewhere? Does Ollie get it?)

Smoked beer. And lightly smoked beer.

Fitzgerald, of The Everly Brother’s, soliciter’s firm (an old joke of ours)

Kevin kilbane, was arrested for underage drinking, with an address in Darty (ollie) and a phone number (granty)

Key / cheese for every chinaman

The frame will be made by Andrew Frame

Tony Cascarino referring to someone as "having a holocaust". Not necessarily a footballer, either. I'm thinking Alan Shatter

Donnie Davies, Evening Service and C.H.O.P.S.

put "[1] citation needed" somewhere in the newspaper