User:Freakscout

Origins
The origins of the North American freakscout are shrouded in mystery. According to local legend, some 23 years ago a strange little imp began scampering about the east coast wreaking havoc. It is now a strange slightly larger imp, and it still gallivants around the Baltimore area looking for trouble or, failing that, cookies.

The Freakscout can also be found in numerous places online, most notably Livejournal and SDF.

Habitat
The North American Freakscout is spotted mostly in the suburban outlying areas of Baltimore, Maryland. When not in its apartment or at work, it occasionally attends university. The Freakscout prefers wooded areas, rocky streams, and anywhere with broadband Internet access.

Care & Feeding
The Freakscout is a fairly low-maintenance animal, though it should be generously supplied with cookies to maintain optimal mental well-being. When deprived of internet access and a UNIX shell prompt, it becomes morose, but can be mollified with other devices such as the SEGA Genesis or anything in book form.

Aside from cookies, the Freakscout will happily munch on many kinds of cuisine, with a special fondness for gnocchi.

Recreation
Given the drudgery of its current living situation, the Freakscout attempts to recreate as much as possible. It consumes printed matter at an alarming rate; it is, as of this writing, on page 475 of Foucault's Pendulum, which it enjoys immensely. It also seems particularly to gravitate toward any printed matter dealing with conspiracy, the occult, or Eris.

Various & Sundry
The Freakscout is rather new to Wikipedia, so be gentle. Also, it would like to mention that squirrels, Slackware, and Scandinavian metal are the alliterative trifecta of awesomeness.