User:FrenchParkie

Michael Parkinson, a 26 year old lover of all things garlic, is an eccentric French sociophobe and part-time once bearded clown. Michael is renowned for inventing the Coffunion&reg;, a machine capable of producing fresh coffee from the epidermis of a single onion.

Michael suffers from an incredibly rare disease known as pantitis whereby the carrier of the disease has an unexplained tendency to tear one's pants in a morning.