User:Frodebricger/sandbox

LES IDÉES DE LA COMÉDIE

LE MARS À BÁI LÙ THE MARCH AT BÁI LÙ

When Vánájá is threatened by the extraterrestrial Elkians, the trio leads an Army across Bái Lù in China to reach the Elkian camp at Tiāngtàng.

À TRAVERS LES HALLS THROUGH THE HALLS

Arthur is asked by Guinto Crisanto to found a school in the Philippines and asks Jackson and Richard to come along. When they arrive, Crisanto greets them and shows them the building in the country. Arthur then looks for teachers, eventually making Richard Professor of Creative Writing. On the first day of the second week, a young student from Japan, Hana Kawano, falls in love with Richard and writes to her father, General Kuma Kawano, about her teacher. General Kawano goes to the Philippines to visit Hana and commands Richard to marry his daughter or the Island they’re on will be invaded. Richard goes to his friends for help.

Arthur: So what’s your problem, she’s sweet, smart, attractive, smart? Richard: I know but, I don’t...I don’t… Jackson: You don’t what? Richard: I don’t love her. Arthur: I think your view of love is seriously skewed. Richard: You know what I mean, I love her, I love everybody, but I don’t like her. Arthur: What’s not to like? Richard: We get me already, okay? Arthur: Okay, but you must love then like. Richard: It’s not the same. Arthur: Just marry the girl, Richard, our lives depend on it! Richard: She’s a Buddhist. Arthur: You can’t marry her.

Arthur’s Filipino friend, Filipe, makes a suggestion.

Filipe: You could die. Richard: Well that would solve all my problems. Filipe: No real die, just fake die. Richard: Like this? Richard plays dead. Filipe: Good, but I was thinking you be tossed off cliff.

They decide to throw Richard off a cliff and let him float to a boat destined for Singapore, but the captain betrays him to General Kawano, who takes him to his secret torture chamber. Crisanto finds out about what Arthur tried to do and wants to take control of the school.

In Filipino Crisanto: I must command you to give up your post. Arthur: I will not, you have no authority to make me do such a thing. Crisanto: Then we are at a truce. Arthur: Not for long. Draw, fool. Crisanto: I would refuse, but since you called me fool, I accept. Arthur: Alright then, just one moment. Crisanto: For what? Arthur: I never fight with my jacket on. Filipe, hold this for me.

Arthur defeats Crisanto and raises a team to rescue him.

a) Arthur’s squad defeats Kawano in his secret lair and, learning Richard has been taken to Japan to be wed, they go their and rescue him.

b) Richard refuses and Kawano invades the Island leaving the squad to split up, one to protect the island and the others to rescue Richard.

L’ÎLE THE ISLAND

The trio goes on a boat ride and ends up on a mysterious island. They move along the coast and come up upon a chest.

Richard: It’s a chest! Jackson: Oh wow. Arthur: Is it locked? Jackson: Of course it’s locked, why would it be open? Richard: It’s unlocked...   Arthur: See? Richard: ...but it’s rusted over, It won’t open. Jackson: See? Arthur: Does anyone have a crowbar? Richard: O, don’t be silly, my friend, we’re lovers not fighters; we don’t carry crowbars. Jackson pulls out a crowbar. Jackson: Will this do? Richard: Quite nicely actually.

They open the chest and find it is full of treasure. Arthur and Richard then take the golden goblets to look for fresh water and chose Jackson to stand behind with a bejeweled dagger. Arthur and Richard find a trickle of water and follow it until they find a stream and the remains of a fire.

Richard: A fire. Arthur: The remains of one, yes. Richard: Maybe it was left behind by a militaristic humanoid civilization that has recently become extinct. Arthur: Or maybe not. Richard: Why’d you say that? Arthur: Because this canned manicotti is still warm.

They look around and find a tunnel filled with off branches and stone dens. They discover an ancient book with characters unknown even to Arthur. They go farther and discover an underground city and Arthur tries to decode the book by looking at the pictures, comparing alphabets, and trying to interpret words by usage in the city, which Arthur names Unland. Meanwhile, Jackson starts to hear strange sound and decides to take the treasure into a nearby cave. When in the cave he loses his way and finds himself in a pagan temple. He hears noises and hides, then looks on as hooded figures perform a heathen rite. Jackson goes after Arthur and Richard, but unthinkingly leaves the treasure behind. He finally finds the others in Unland and tells them of what he saw.

Jackson: ...And it was just really creepy. Arthur: That’s disturbing. Richard: Where’s the treasure. Jackson: Uh, where I was when I saw the ritual. Arthur: I think I’m going to be sick Richard: And where is that? Jackson: Well, hu hu, I’m not quite sure. Richard: Good grief! Jackson, why’d you have to go and be yourself? Arthur: I don’t feel so good. Jackson: I’m sorry, alright. Richard: Well, sorry just won’t cut it this time, Jackson! Arthur: Ohhhhoooo! Arthur swoons. Richard: Zut alors! Arthur’s fainted! Jackson: Oh wow. Richard: Quick, my friend, get me some water from that fountain over there. Jackson: Jawohl. Jackson goes to get water. Richard: Quickly! Jackson: I’m going as quickly as I can! Jackson returns with the water. Richard: Now pour it on him. Jackson dowses Arthur. Arthur: Ah! Richard: Aha! Well done, my friend! Jackson: Thank you. Richard: By the way, Arthur, you fainted. Arthur: (sarcastically) Really? Jackson: Would you mind telling us what caused this reaction. Arthur: Well, I have a slight aversion to pagan cult rituals.

The trio use string to keep their way and goes looking for weapons and food. They then attempt to find their way to the temple and escape with the treasure. They find one of the cult members and he attacks them. They finally capture him and make him explain.

Spider: We follow the old ways and serve the great Ish, lord of magic. Arthur: He sounds important. Spider: Yes, he is.

The trio makes Spider their guide, and he leads them to the temple where they get the treasure and Spider freaks.

Spider: That is the cursed treasure of Tin Ish Cún! Death is the price for whoever takes it from this island! Jackson: Wow. Richard: Well, that’s very interesting. Spider: Don’t you see? This is all very urgent!

The trio take the treasure anyway and are caught by Ishling guerillas. They take the trio, Spider, and the treasure to Tin Ish Glan.

Glan: Welcome to the Holy Caverns, we hope your stay was better than what was deserved by your sacrilegious conduct. Richard: Well, it’s nice of you to say that. Glan: Yes it is. (in Ishlingese) Star-Owl, Moon-Raven, fetch bread and water for the men and a whip for the web-weaving Ishling. Star-Owl and Moon-Raven: (in Ishlingese) Yes, master. Exit Star-Owl and Moon-Raven.

After the trio eat, they are brought up to the surface without the treasure (save the goblets and some oddbins) and with Spider, whom Arthur convinced Tin Ish Glan to spare.

Jackson: What do we do with it? Arthur: Well, we can’t just leave him to fend for himself. Jackson: Yes, we can. You saved his life, you don’t owe him anything like that. Arthur: But its a living thing! Richard: Let’s leave it a spear and goblet and leave it on its way. Arthur: Not without a bible. Richard: Well, I guess its only our Christian duty to do that. Spider: O, don’t mind me. I love being talked about and referred to as it in the third person.

The trio does as is suggested, builds a raft, and sails back to the coast.

LES ENFANTS DE MARS THE CHILDREN OF MARS

Richard reads a book about Martians and wonders what life on Mars is really like. He builds a spaceship in the backyard disguised as a futuristic donut stand and tricks Arthur and Jackson to get on it. When on, he locks the door and launches the Endeavor into the air.

Jackson: Uh, what just happened? Richard: I just pushed the launch button to send the donut stand to Mars! Jackson: That was so stupid of you Richard. Why would you do something like that? Richard: To let you know...that I’m in charge here! Enter Arthur with donuts. Arthur: Do you have any more jelly filled? Richard: Sure, it’s right by the window. Arthur goes to the window. Arthur: Why are we flying? Richard: O, we’re going to Mars. Arthur: Okay. (pause) Got any coffee? Richard: Right by the big red button. Arthur: Merci. Richard: You’re welcome, my friend. Jackson: Look at me, Richard; you’re not getting away with this. Richard: O, but I think I just did. Jackson: No, you will put us down right now. Arthur: I don’t mind going to Mars. Richard: You hear that, Arthur’s with me. Jackson: Then I guess you’ll just have to let me down. Richard: O, I couldn’t do that. Jackson: Why not? Richard: Because I’m in charge here not you. Jackson: Well, maybe that needs to change. Arthur: Yea, you should make me in charge. Jackson and Richard look and Arthur. It was just a suggestion. Rút’s really in charge anyway. By the way, where is Rút anyway? Richard: The sauna. Arthur: Sauna? Enter Rút with a towel. Richard: Well, hello, General, how was it. Rút wags his tail. Richard: I’m glad you enjoyed it, I made it myself.

The quartet go into outer space and land in one of the valleys on Mars. They put on their space gear and journey out. They travel for days without finding signs of intelligent life, but they do find many plants and a river which they follow. They see something rustle past the bushes and a manlike creature pursuing it. They eventually see what it is chasing, a small, furry rabbit-like creature with a pouch. The hunter gets the beast, and then the trio follows him to his den. There they see him bring the animal to who looked to be his wife or mate and she cooks it for their many children. The hunter takes up a pipe and a little box and steps outside, only to find the quartet standing there. He attacks them, and the quartet are saved by large owl-creatures who take them to a high peak where the quartet are told of the condition of Mars.

Spoken in Maulin and translated by Lûn: Grand Maul: The people from whom you were saved are the lunglings, a race hostile to outsiders. They once ruled the Great Valley, but they were overthrown by a race of angelic beings claiming to be gods. they gave their kingdom over to these beings, and the divines ruled for no more than four generations, when they were conquered by the Navi, the black gods. The Navi killed the king and set up Dûv Ovnel, whom no one who is not a Navir has seen, as the Vintî, and he supposedly rules today, though his reign began over a half-thousand years ago. This Dûv Ovnel has set up black temples that only Navi may enter into and has called a race of deeplings to himself. There are many more creatures in the valleys, some friendly, such as the Denrin, the Moglif, the Deepnords, and the Grennops. Others not so, such as the lunglings, deathlings, scrags, mao, sphinxlings, gaula, hobgaula, lennors, and hatelings. I advise you never go out with one from this court, for even some who I listed as friendly--yea, even some maula--are spies for the Vintî; beware, my sons!

The quartet stays that night with the Mauls and then goes out with Cêrn and Lûn. They go to Mao Falls on route to the capital at Marha. There they meet with three mao, Rûn (secret), Lûv (confusion), and Zîng (laughter), who will kill them if they fail to answer correctly five unknown questions. Jackson answers the first question wrong, and the mao are killed by Cêrn. They then go to the River Vai (Knowledge) and camp there for the night. The deathlings gather at the Cairn and look down at the camp.

In Deathlingese Grave Caller: Ah! Behold sleep, brother of death. Chapel Bells: Yes, Grave Caller, see how sweetly they will sleep once the younger hath come! Enter Graveling, Swiftness, and Quick End. Graveling: Hail, brother, hail, Chapel Bells. Grave Caller: Hail, elder brother, hail Swiftness, hail Quick End. Chapel Bells: Hail. Swiftness and Quick End: Hail. Graveling: Whom, brother, shall we give to Death tonight; what poor beasts blood shall we spill? Grave Caller: Oh, I have a goodly selection for thee, elder brother. Cêrn and Lûn are encamped with four unmarsly comrades, three of which are as to a lungling or hateling and by the grace of Hecate some bit like a Child of Death. Graveling: Well done, brother; your Mother who sits at Death’s right hand is well pleased with thee! Grave Caller: I thank ye, elder brother, you are most kind. Graveling: It is nothing. Mine to the right or left? Grave Caller: Neither, you to the center, mine to the right, and Sunset’s to the left. Graveling: Ah! He is a fool! Grave Caller: Aye, elder brother, but he is willing and useful to us. Enter Sunset and his men. Graveling: Here he comes. Grave Caller: For our mother’s sake, peace. Sunset: Hail, Grave Caller, good tidings, Graveling. Graveling and Grave Caller: Hail, Sunset.

The deathlings attack the camp. Cêrn kills four deathlings before getting a mortal wound from Graveling. Cêrn then snaps Gravelings neck and kills two others before dying. Grave Caller escapes and Richard and Arthur catch a deathling soldier.

In Lunglingese Lûn: Look at me, you dirty beast, and pray to your gods! Gleaner: Ha! Why should I pray to Death for life? Lûn: Then die, cur! Lûn lurches toward Gleaner. Arthur: Peace! Don’t become those you despise. Creature, speak now or we will tie you to the cliff fifty cubits up. Gleaner: Alright, what must you know? Arthur: Of what is your business here? Gleaner: Lo, it is the vocation of all my brothers to kill, yet even then, this was a special act. Arthur: Wherefore? Gleaner: Lovely are the moons tonight, sire. Arthur: Wherefore? Gleaner: Cêrn and Lûn are our enemies of old, and we hate, hate them. Arthur: Why is it so? Gleaner: I know not. Arthur takes him by the head. Arthur: Why is it so? Gleaner: Why do you care? Arthur pushes his head back. Gleaner: Cêrn and Lûn kept the fair Îlûmnim from Graveling, and now we all have to hate them. Arthur: Why must you hate them? Gleaner: Because Graveling hates them, we must hate what he hates, always what he hates. The stars are brilliant tonight, are they not, master? Arthur throws him aside.

Arthur leaves Gleaner with Lûn and, after awhile, Lûn returns to the group alone. They then go to Carrock and meet with blue mauls (clauds/ cauls) and stay the night. They leave with Thweit (speed), who replaces Cêrn. They then leave for Hateland, but when they reach it, they find a gate of blue metal has been built at its entrance. Lûn and Thweit fly on to the wall and are attacked by hateling guards. They kill the guards and call upon Ótó (strength) to knock the wall down. Ótó comes from the sky and knocks down the gates, allowing the quartet to enter. They wander into a hateling city and sneak past, only to be chased by the Guard of Despising to the outer crust. The outer crust is much colder than the Great Valley and even Lûn does not know what lives there. They travel for weeks without finding any life forms. After over three months of wandering on the crust, Richard sees a pale blue light and the group follows it. Eventually they... Stumble upon a something like a well, with an elaborate arch covering it. The arch was not solid; on the contrary, it seemed to have almost no substance, with only thin, floral segments of something hard and polished like marble, but red. Suspended from the center of the arch was a lantern, the source of the blue light. A thin tube ran from the light down into the well. I decorative jug attached to a very thin, strong cord sat on the lip of the well. Someone should lower the jug into the well and discover that there is indeed water at the bottom. Some dialog about how the lantern must be fueled by water. The trio then notices a path terminating at the well. They decide to follow the path and find, shortly thereafter, a village with elaborately decorative structures similar in design to the well’s arch. After a few minutes, they conclude that there is no life left in the village… They find a book in the with a cover in the style of the well with pale blue luminous pages. It tells the story of the crust, specifical the abandoned village, but to read it they must decode the strange symbols its written in. Then a strange thing happens, the more time they spend there, the more they are able to understand the book. They look over it and come upon and various passages of interest.

...The blue light came from the Upplings, who were embodied by it. They came are the ones who built this city and brought the the light… ...They built temples, one to Á, one to Chai, one to Mau, one to Cántáfímí, and Legó, but Á, who can have no rival, was angered… ...but they were not satisfied with their gods, and made more until they had as many gods as stars, and temples dotted the surface of Mars… ...so Á sent the Áví to execute wrath upon them…

They take provisions and spoil from the village and move on. Eventually they come upon a river and are lead once again into the Great Valley. They find a colony of Green Grennops and feast with them, and one of the Grennops decides to join them and direct them to where to lovelings live. He takes them through the Valley of Barrows, where they are attacked by deplings and saved by Painted Grennops, who take them to their holy city of Ábeth. Their they meet with a willing Painted Grennop and he goes with them. Next on their trek is the Valley of Fragrance. Then they come to the den of a loveling family. The loveling show them the way to the Vintî’s fortress and give them a magic reed to protect them. On their way, they are stopped by the Inling Guard, who capture them add great cost to themselves. They take the group to a dungeon and put the trio into the Guard and make Rút a watch-dog with the other Inhounds. The quartet are marched to the capital and the trio find their way into the throne room only to find tombs of late Navi leaders and a dead creature upon the throne. The Guard of Despising, the Inling Guard, and a squad of scrags come in and wreck the room, declaring an end to the empire. The trio escape to the top of the fortress and see an old, luminous pale blue creature in chains. They let him out and he gives them a small glowing pale blue tube and tells them to touch each other when they find Rút and pulse the tube. The thing dies and the trio race to the door, get Rút, and pulse the tube. The quartet magically appear in their backyard.



(NO NAME)

Arthur is engrossed in a new book.

Richard: Has he blinked yet? Jackson: Richard! Of course he’s blinked. Richard: I was just making a point, okay? Jackson: What’s it about anyway? Richard gets in Arthur’s face. Richard: Hey, what are reading? Hey, (snaps in his face) could you just tell me what it’s about, man? (looks at the back and reads) When Mrs. Dare dies at the dinner table, it is up to the party guests to solve the mystery… Jackson: Hmm, sounds interesting.

Richard and Jackson read over Arthur’s shoulder and when…

LES CRONIQUES DE CANIS THE CANIS CHRONICLES

ONE La forêt est foncée The Forest Is Dark

Professor Henry Claude Rimple walks through the forest and remembers the story Grandpa Rimple had told him and his brother Warner Kent Rimple when he was a child of demons that take the shape of dancing dogs in the forest to lure children. He then sees black silhouettes of dancing dogs and is petrified with fear. The next morning, Henry visits Grandpa Rimple.

Henry:



AMI DES OMBRES FRIEND OF SHADOWS

When an unidentified foreigner is stabbed in the back, the trio decide to investigate. They search the room and are told that at the the doors and windows were locked from the inside. They find out that the killer slipped out after the door was broken open.

LE CYCLE DES FEUX THE FIRE CYCLE

ONE La fosse de l’oyvèrne The Wyvern’s Den

Arthur tells the story of Vi’s wand and Richard decides to tricks the others into helping him. He plans a hike and he purposely leads them to where he thinks it is. He goes in holding a string whilst Arthur and Jackson stay at the entrance. He goes in and outwits the wyvern(s), and comes out with the wand.

TWO L’oithe des socièrnes The Wythe of Wickwood

Arthur finds a strange skeleton/ fossil in wickwood and finds out it’s a wythe. Then part of the wythe is stolen with the wand of Vi. Then they find killed witches who used the part and wand to spawn a wythe and the trio goes to find the wythe. They chase it back to Wickwood and… a) End the chase.   b) Catch it and keep it as a pet. c) Use the wand to banish it.   d) Kill it.

THREE Au niveau du bord The Pit

Jackson is abandoned by the other members of Birdwatchers United and calls Richard to have Richard and Arthur come to pick him up. Whilst he waits, he is kidnapped and poised at the edge of a pit containing a wyrm. They say that the witches that spawned the wyvern angered the gods and that a sacrifice is necessary. Arthur and Richard see this, and the wyrm gets the kidnappers and Jackson is saved.

FOUR Celui qu’appelle Caller

The trio’s house is invaded by hooded men who ask the trio what they know about the recent dragon related occurrences. After they leave, the trio calls some of their friends to talk it over. The next day they wake up in a strange place and a magician tells them his plans to call these dragons together so that he can, in some way he does not expound upon, become a demigod. His men bring in a small dragon and it is put into a bird cage, where the trio converses with it. The dragonling helps them to break their bonds, and they find the magician dead with...a knife in his back/ ...a bullet through his head.

FIVE Point Culminant Climax

The trio escapes and returns home. Two weeks later Richard is on a date with his new girlfriend and Arthur and Jackson are having pizza and listening to the Cloindon mystery Toccata and Fugue on the KJ4TIP Mystery Hour when a hooded figure come to their door.

Knocking. Arthur gets the door. Arthur: Yes? Hood: I have some information about the wicker. Arthur: Yes? Hood: I know who killed him, the wicker I mean. Arthur: Who? Hood: I can’t say now, the powers are out tonight; I must not be overheard. May I find refuge in your shower? Arthur: For how long? Hood: Not long. Arthur: Well, okay. Hood: Thanks. O, I almost forgot, take this. Hood hands him a box. Hood: These are clues to the killer identity and his next moves. Arthur: O, thank you. Hood comes in. Arthur sits back down and opens up the box and pulls out a strange deck, James 1:1, and small stuffed creatures. From this they deduce that it is the wicker’s (magician’s) brother. They also see that the creatures are different dragons. The cards are a deck for playing Big Four.