User:FryWrites/Jane Eyre/Tackeret Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

FryWrites, Angrycabbagemerchant, Bcade


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:FryWrites/Jane_Eyre?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The title of the article I think could simply be "Colonialism and the Character of Bertha Mason" and remove the Jane Eyre part since it is within the Jane Eyre page. The lead reflects the rest of the article and states what will be discussed without becoming over complicated. By putting in the sources it keeps the opening from becoming bias. The lead does a good job of leading into the next section and maintaining focus on the article topics. I think a few of the sentences could be shortened or rephrased to flow better.

The beginning part of the second paragraph is a bit confusing and has a quote that is not explained and is by itself rather than having a sentence lead into it. I also would say the same above, that some of the sentences don't flow and have some extra words that aren't needed. I would recommend reading it out loud to help avoid this. One way I think the content could be updated is to describe more of the ideas of the time period, because that could be something assumed by the reader rather than have it described or at least connected to a different wiki article.

I think the tone is good, there are a few points where it could potentially be biased. For example, "Both women go through acts of suppression on behalf of the men in their lives, yet Jane is looked at with favor because of her supposed “beauty” that can be found in the color of her skin" could be seen as an opinion from the author, but by explaining and putting the in the same sentence that could be fixed.

A part that is missing a source is this sentence, "when she is heard shrieking in the night" because it ties into a specific section. I think it would prove the point more by adding the specific quote. The sources appear to be accurate and used correctly, maybe a few of them could be utilized more to inform the audience about the topic of the article, but overall it looks really clean and concise with the sources.

Great job so far!