User:FungiFish2020/Rock ptarmigan/Lithopslover Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

FungiFish2020


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:FungiFish2020/Rock ptarmigan


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Rock ptarmigan

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * The lead of the article is sufficient in its current state, however, it doesn't provide an overview of the topics presented in the article. If you want to improve that section an additional short paragraph describing the upcoming topics could be included.

Content


 * Really good content - a good summary of the sources!
 * Tone was neutral and informative.
 * Don't be afraid to add more details from the sources to further support your claims.

Sources and References


 * "Most rock ptarmigan have no more than 20 grams of adipose tissue year round, without food these reserves can last for 2 days." - Does this have a source it came from? If so, a citation at the end of the sentence would make it more clear.
 * "Svalbard is at the northern extant of the rock ptarmigans range, during winter food availability is lower in Svalbard than in other parts of their range." - Does this have a source it came from? If so, a citation at the end of the sentence would make it more clear.
 * Relevant and reliable sources used - very thorough!
 * Links for sources 1 and 3 would not work for anyone who is not UConn-associated. Since these are sources that did not have an online location and were borrowed from the library, I recommend excluding the links, as their current form does not match their intended function.

Organization


 * I don't know where your intended placement is for the section, however, I bet before or after the ecology section would be a great spot for it!
 * The organization of the paragraphs was very logical and easy to follow - great job!
 * Very concise! Sometimes hard to understand, but the grammar fixes below would make it easier for a reader to understand.
 * I think that the paragraphs can go without the dashes beforehand - the rest of the Rock ptarmigan article does not have them.
 * Some grammatical notes:
 * "Rock ptarmigan have a limited capacity for fat storage [1]," - I think the comma was intended to be a period here. Or if the comma was the intended punctuation, follow with the word "which" instead of "this". Additionally, the reference numbers are supposed to go after the punctuation (as you do for the rest of the article).
 * "Enlarged ceca helps rock ptarmigan maximize assimilation of nutrition poor foods." - Replacing "nutrition" with "nutrient" would be a more common use of the phrase.
 * "...the energy gain from fermentation alone however is not independently significant." - Add a comma before and after "however".
 * "The Svalbard subspecies of rock ptarmigan has the only significant increase in fat reserves." - Consider re-wording to the following: "The Svalbard subspecies of rock ptarmigan is the only subspecies with a significant increase in fat reserves." to clarify the meaning.
 * "This however is not an adequate source of energy to survive during winter alone." - Consider re-wording to the following: "However, this alone is not an adequate source of energy to survive during winter."
 * "Locomotion appears to have no energetic cost in these birds, this adaptation is key for a species that must move frequently to forage [6]." - The comma should be a period. Additionally, the reference number is mistakenly before the punctuation.
 * "Most rock ptarmigan have no more than 20 grams of adipose tissue year round, without food these reserves can last for 2 days." - Revise to the following: "Most rock ptarmigan have no more than 20 grams of adipose tissue year round. Without food, these reserves can last for 2 days."
 * "The Svalbard rock ptarmigan however gains about 100 grams of adipose tissue, this can serve as an energy source for up to 10 days of starvation." - Revise to the following: "The Svalbard rock ptarmigan, however, gains about 100 grams of adipose tissue. This can serve as an energy source for up to 10 days of starvation."
 * "Svalbard is at the northern extant of the rock ptarmigans range, during winter food availability is lower in Svalbard than in other parts of their range." - Consider revising to the following: "The Svalbard subspecies inhabits the northern extent of the rock ptarmigan's range. During winter, food availability is lower for the Svalbard subspecies than in other parts of the rock ptarmigan range."

Overall impressions


 * Great content! Adds some good physiological ecology to the content of the article.
 * Relevant, reliable collection of sources.
 * Grammar fixes would make the article better understood and more easily read.
 * Great job @FungiFish2020!! :)