User:Fwankie

FWANKIE As I sit on the spongy floor of my new appartment I just moved into, with no furniture or anything, and a sevant named Frank who slides my meals in under the door, and my friend Bill who is typing every word I say, as a lay waring a straight jacket, I will explain to you my life from a child and all of my experiences I have been through. All of the relatives I've stayed with throughout the years, how they died why I had to leave them, and anything else I think should be said. Check this site often, for it will be updated when they allow me to have my computer time.

I was a frenchman who settled in Ohio. My whole family is retarded. I have 16 retarded brothers and sisters but my favorite brother is Dick sucerr Richard. We grew up with no money and we ended up eating my youngest sister Ofillia Dick. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm she was good. After that I was forced to get a job at the YMCA were i helped dress old retarded people as they finished swimming in a dirty pool. In 1929 my family deserted me and went to a place called Aushwits... where ever the hell that is. I stayed there for a while, and staying there, every once and a while they put a bunch of us in this room and filled it with this gas stuff. Everyone but me went to sleep every time. I must have been imune to the stuff from living with my Uncle's Uncle "Toot Weiner". He produced lots and lots and lots of gas! It was like an endless stream. The longest one I can remember was at least 2 and 1/2 weeks. AT LEAST! The whole house was filled with it (mind you it was only one room). I eventually got used to it. My uncle was a big retard as well as my brothers and sisters so i shot him in the foot and pushed him down a hill in his wheelchair. It was hilarious. Anyway, I then moved in with my great aunt Frank (sexchange, don't ask). She enjoyed abusing me nightly. I didn't mind too much, untill she began testing the "long rubber glove". Guess where she stuck the whole 24 inches of that thing? Well It was in a place where the sun don't shine (lets leave it at that). After a couple times of that, I had enough, so I cut off all of her libs and hung her up by the scruff of her neck with a big ol' meat hook, and dangled her body in extremally salty water with a 200 lb. weight tieded to her waste. I wonder if anyone ever found her... Anyway, I next went off to live with my great uncle Tom.He was a pretty cool guy but he didn't last long. He ended up killing himself with half a tooth pick,i still dont understand how he did it.The death of my uncle confused the police so they investigated me but they could not find me guilty to the death.

By now your probably thinking I must be totally messed up form all of these horrible experiences, but this is only the begining!

By the next week I had already moved in with my Cousin's Aunt Sheril. She had taken in 38 kids over the past 10 years. I soon found out the reason! She put us all to work on her massive drug farm! I managed to steal some of the hardest stuff every day and stashed it. I still have some left too! I used it to make a little money and to later get the rest of my family imprisioned. After I was caught stealing drugs, she kicked me out and I became a well renound pimp. I enjoyed doing that untill my bitches got unhappy with the amount of pennies i was paying them so they over powered me and kicked my ass.I thought about suicide for a couple of days but i could not do it.i decided to spend my last 30 dollars on scrach tickets.I was so mad when i did not win...

My long lost brother was found yesterday in a garbage dump; the down fall was ... he was burnt. the school dump he was found in said they had nothing to do with it but i belive that they did! i charged them and only got away with a pd of crak.I went to his funeral and after that i got revenge on the school.(i threw 12 eggs at it)Any way,i then moved to Nova scotia and attempted to build a house in Halifax...i failed miserably.

Signed, --Fwankie 13:54, 21 May 2007 (UTC)Fwankie

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