User:G.S.tripod

Acclaimed pop-sensation Miley Cyrus is no more. Sources claim that secret prostitute and cocaine dealer, Miley, acquired the swine flu last month (Wegmans hospital, L.A.). After a vigorous week in the hospital Miley died from a combination of H1N1 and cocaine addiction (confirmed by doctor G.S. Wong). If the tragic news of her death isn't enough, doctors found that after her death, Miley was carrying a three week old child. Press immediately got wind of this fact, and unfairly exploited it in Pregnant Teen. after days of trying to find the father, Robert Pattinson stepped forward and said, "I would like everyone to know how sorry I am over the death of Miley Cyrus, she was a great person and I am truly grieved. I would like to own up to the fact that yes the child Miley was carrying was sadly mine. We weren't going to release this to the press until after our child's birth to make her pregnancy as painless as possible. I regret that one night we were under the influence of alcohol and had no idea what we were doing.Later we found out Miley was pregnant, and Miley and i being against abortion, decided we would do all we could for the sake of our child. I want to apologize for setting such a bad example to all of my fans, and i would like to thank eveyone who has shown me support through these rough times," quotes David Hasslehoff of Pregnant Teen. Many are still grieving over the loss of such a troubled soul and soon to be child.