User:GS214/Social comparison theory/Ninetailedmage Peer Review

General info
GS214, Jld20eo
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:GS214/Social comparison theory
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Social comparison theory

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

This lead has a very concise and well written definition for the theory. The two paragraphs are easy to understand and provide references.

Content

The text that was added to the Media Influence section is totally relevant and is relevant to what is already being said in the section. The examples listed add to the theory and compliment the current writing.

Tone and Balance

Using active voice instead of passive voice and shortening sentences could provide a more formal "Wikipedia" tone to some of the added texts. The paragraph referring to Instagram could use more formal writing.

Also, saying that research "should" be conducted to study the effects of social media on emotional security is an agreeable opinion, however, would be better stated as fact. Something like "Further research is being conducted to supply better results for educators to build on...current programs.." I think you get the idea.

Sources and References

There are plenty of great sources provided to supplement the additions to this article.

Organization

Perhaps we could add subheadings to label each example? That way we can easily point to the different case studies.

Images and Media

No images provided.