User:G a adams/IBM System/360 Curse

The following curse made the rounds of the IBM System/360 world in the early 1970's. Any further information on the origin or source of this work would be appreciated. In the aged, yellowed printout from that era that I have in my possession, this work is attributed to a "Mary Shaw" which may be fictional. All line breaks and hyphenations on the original printout are preserved.

360/CURSE   HYMN OF HATE HAIL 360, CHILD OF EVIL. FOR THY MISDEEDS WE CURSE THEE. VERILY DO WE CURSE AND CONDEMN THEE. WE CALL DOWN THE WRATH OF THE HEAVENS UPON THEE. KNOW, THREESICKLY, THAT WE HATE THEE WITH A PURE AND WHITE-HOT PASSION. MAY THE MICROSEC- ONDS OF THINE EXISTENCE BE EONS IN MISERY. AS THOU PUSHEST ABOUT THE BITS OF THY PROGRAMS, MAY THE 1- BITS CAUSE CHILLS AND MAY THE 0-BITS ITCH, AND MAY THEE BE IN CONTINUAL TORMENT. AS THOU MISCOMPUT- EST THE PROBLEMS OF THY USERS MAY EVERY MAN'S HAND BE TURNED AGAINST THEE. MAY CHILDREN CAST CARD CHAD AT THEE AND CALL THEE CURSED. MAY THY INSULATION EVAPORATE, AND THY CORES COLLAPSE, AND THY FLIP-CHIPS FLOP. MAY THE ROS BECOME WRITABLE, AND MAY A USER WRITE HIS FORTRAN PROGRAM ALL OVER IT. MAY THY PRINTERS REWIND AND THY TAPES UNWIND AND THY MEMORY BANKS GROW SENILE AND THY DRUMS BE OUT OF ROUND AND THY HIGH-SPEED CHANNEL BE MULTIPLEXED WITH THE READER/PUNCH AND MAY THY CHANNEL PROGRAMS LOOP. MAY THY BITS EACH HAVE THREE STATES. MAY OS HAVE 100 VERSIONS, AND MAY EACH VERSION HAVE 5000 APARS. MAY EACH APAR HAVE 100 PTFS, AND MAY EACH PTF BE PUNCHED OFF-REGISTER ON WARPED CARDS. MAY EACH HAVE 100 HEX PATCHES, AND MAY EACH PATCH GROW SCAR TISSUE. MAY EACH VERSION REQUIRE TEN SYSGENS, AND MAY EACH GEN FAIL TEN TIMES, MAY EACH FAILURE COST A SHIFT, AND MAY EACH SHIFT BE BILLED AT PRIME RATES. MAY THY WAIT STATES ABEND. MAY THY SVCS GET PROTECTION FAULTS. MAY THY SPOOL OVERFLOW. MAY THY DAT UNIT CUT IN AND OUT. MAY THY ADDER DROP ITS SEVENTH BIT, AND MAY THY MULTIPLIER COMPUTE CUBE ROOTS. MAY THY MOVE CHARACTERS COMMAND COM- PLEMENT EVERY THIRD BIT. MAY THY FLOATING POINT REGISTERS BE WHERE THY FIXED POINT REGISTERS SHOULD BE. A POX UPON THEE AND UPON THY KIN, UPON THY MOD 30'S, AND UPON THY MOD 90'S, AND UPON THY MOD 67'S. YEAH, UPON THY CHILDREN AND THY CHIL- DREN'S CHILDREN, EVEN UNTO THE SEVENTH GENERATION OF HARDWARE. YEA, 360, KNOW THAT THOU SHALL BE SORELY AF- FLICTED. FROM THIS TIME FORTH SHALL THY PERIPHERALS BECOME INDEPENDENT PROCESSORS AND SHALT THOU BE SYNCHRONIZED WITH THE LOW-SPEED PRINTER. AND THY CORES SHALL BE AS DUST WITHIN THEE AND IN SORROW SHALT LAMENT THINE LOT. -MARY SHAW