User:Gabrielle.gagnon/Saguenay–St. Lawrence Marine Park/JocelynMahri Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Gabrielle.gagnon, Pipermfrench, Lemons33, Rowankoe


 * Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Gabrielle.gagnon/Saguenay%E2%80%93St._Lawrence_Marine_Park/JocelynMahri_Peer_Review?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_peer_review
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Saguenay–St. Lawrence Marine Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

Lead is really good! I think it could get cleaned up for a smoother reading experience such as repeated words, and I like the addition of the Indigenous information and land claim right off the bat (could go more in depth with it if possible??)

Content:

For the ecology section, in the "Upper and Lower Estuary" paragraph with what ecological factors are not known, maybe reword it or replace it somewhere else? I think it'll make it look cleaner. At the end of the "Saguenay Fjord" paragraph, you could go a little bit more in depth with the contaminants that are causing the unstable health, or even added those to the human impacts section!

Some content I would maybe add is a little more about endemic plant/marine plant species that are around the area (If there is any prominent enough to mention)

For the human impacts section, things are laid out quite nicely! Good job

Management plan section is really well laid out as well! I like the in depth detail of the visions and actions that need to be taken, along with the implementation of Indigenous Peoples. I will make note that depending on how that specific nation prefers or references themselves on sites/pages/management plans, when speaking of Indigenous Peoples in general, most now prefer the term "Indigenous Peoples/Communities" rather than "First Nations", But otherwise looks really good!

I think the Tourism section is really good too! I went to take a peek at the Whale tour website and saw some good information about the whale and seal protection, and also how its one of the only places that whales and belugas meet (I think thats a fun little fact that could get squeezed in there)

I noticed that there is a chunk missing regarding the history of the Marine park. adding some information on how it was used prior to now, like how Indigenous Peoples used the resources in the area or the history with tourism and humans coming to explore the area.

Tone & Balance

Article does sound professional and up to Wikipedia guidelines the sources seem appropriate to subject at hand!

Overall, the writing is kind and helpful, organization is good and only a few minor details to be polished on and some added historical context to really bring this article together!

Really good job!