User:Gadzooksopposite/Nectanebo II/Rachelneeld Peer Review

General info
Gadzooksopposite
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Gadzooksopposite/Nectanebo II
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Nectanebo II

Evaluate the drafted changes
The original article uses 'the' a lot in the lead. I like the removal for clarity.

I like your moving of the picture. It makes more sense here with your changes.

The questions:

The Lead

I really like your contributions to the lead. Every claim is sourced and accurate with your edits. You also mention important aspects that you expand on later in the article. Everything seems appropriate and related to the article. Good job removing the bias in "Egypt Prospered".

2. Clarity of Article Structure – each important aspect of the article should have its own clear

and distinct section

I'm pretty sure Napoleon was dead before 1978... right? Did you mean a different century? Do you have a source to link that he captured the city?

I think the content is organized well. I think that the sarcophagus section could stand alone under the Legacy section. It would be a nice concluding section. The flow of sections is logical. The content seems well sourced and up to date.

4. Content Neutrality – the article should not try to persuade the reader of a specific idea orview

In your Sarcophagus section, I think you do a good job listing several sources from differing views. While you address an argument, I don't feel you are trying to convince the reader of it. All phrasing seems neutral. Is there another opposing argument that should be considered or addressed in that section?

5. Sources – article content should be supported by good and reliable sources

Your sources seem reliable. In your sarcophagus section you use several sources to support claims. Nice job synthesizing from all the sources and not relying heavily on one. They look like they're presented correctly.

In the Reign section, the paragraph talking about foreign affairs has some claims that are not supported. Do you have a source supporting that the Persians attempted to reclaim Egypt? I think Van deMieroop talks about it if you're still looking.